


The Boy In The Mirror

by Rena



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 14:05:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rena/pseuds/Rena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec never believed in ghost stories. How wrong he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. #238 A curling shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Story chapters are taken from the prompts on the LJ community 500_themes. 
> 
> You can find some beautiful graphics that my friend Riley made for this story [here](http://i40.tinypic.com/13zn9qs.jpg) and [here](http://i43.tinypic.com/169j504.jpg), and the "cast" [here](http://mishatrollings.tumblr.com/tagged/cast)

"Rise and shine, sweetheart!"

The voice was clear and very, very loud and most definitely way too cheerful for this ungodly hour.

Alec groaned and rolled over, burying his face in the pillows, fighting the urge to tell his mother to 'shut the fuck up', even though he was very tempted to, because somehow he didn't think that she wouldn't have been too happy about the use of profanities. The digital numbers of his alarm clock were glowing in the dark. Five am. He'd only fallen asleep an hour ago. Just as he was about to tune her out and resume his much needed sleep, another person spoke up.

"I could kick him if you want."

"No, thank you, Jace. I think that would be a bit drastic."

There was a disappointed huff. "Or I could poke him?" he suggested, and really, not a second later, Alec was treated to the sensation of a finger repeatedly jabbing into his ribcage.

It was surprising how much Jace resembled a child in kindergarten rather than a seventeen-year-old teenager sometimes. Mostly when he wanted to annoy the crap out of his adopted brother. Which worked every time. Without opening his eyes, Alec lifted his arm to slap his hand away. He missed, but at least he hit Jace's head instead, which was not only way more satisfactory but also actually made him stop. "I hate you," he mumbled, irritated.

Jace yelped indignantly when he hit him, and then pretended to be shocked at his words like the little drama queen he was. Alec imagined he added some heart-clutching for the full effect. "Oh, how you wound me," he cried out, loudly. "How will I ever survive the pain of being so maligned?"

His dramatic speech was negated by the rumble of laughter he tried – and failed – to suppress. The sheer volume of it all had the desired effect, though: there was no way Alec could have still been asleep with him standing next to his bed and screaming bloody murder like that.

"Oh, shut up," Alec muttered, defiantly pressing his eyes shut with even more force. He heard Jace shift beside him, and suddenly his blanket was gone and the cold air hit him like hurricane Irene had hit the East Coast. He bolted upright and threw his pillow into the general directed he suspected Jace was standing. It hit him in the face. "You asshole!"

"Boys, language!" Maryse said sternly while Jace was busy laughing his ass off.

Damn. Alec had forgotten she was still in the room. It was easy to forget about everyone else when Jace was around, and not necessarily only because you had to look out for him doing something incredibly stupid or because of him being a loud-mouthed brat most of the time. It's just that as soon as he walked into a room, everyone's attention was immediately directed towards him. Some people just had this kind of gift, Alec guessed, and Jace was one of them. The only other person he knew who succeeded in getting noticed next to him was his sister Isabelle.

No one ever noticed Alec, and he was infinitely glad about it.

He did my best to throw his brother the angriest and most intimidating death glare he could manage, but it didn't have the effect he wanted, because a) Jace was never intimidated by anything and b) Alec doubted he looked very threatening with bed hair and dark rings caused by insomnia under his eyes.

"Get up, Alexander," his mother said. "We are leaving in ten minutes."

Great.

He scrambled out of bed – or rather, from the mattress he'd been sleeping on - and got dressed. Meanwhile, Jace was leaning against the wall, regarding him with a mixture of amusement and some sort of faint curiosity. "You look like shit," he told Alec.

"Gee, thanks. Always so charming."

"Jace is right," Isabelle said as she marched into the room. Her high heels were making a clicking sound that reverberated loudly in the mostly empty room. "You look like a zombie."

"So would you if you'd only slept one hour," Alec grumbled.

"Pfft," said Jace. "My fabulous self would never look so scruffy. I'm perfect, remember?"

"And so humble," Isabelle commented dryly. "Now come on, boys, mom is waiting for us. You can continue your bickering and self-praising, in Jace's case, in the car."

"Coming," Alec said. As he picked up his backpack, he looked around his room one last time. Or rather, the remains of his room. There was not much left that made it _his_ room: all his belongings, few as they were, were crammed into cardboard boxes which the moving company would transport to their new home. Most of the furniture was gone, too, most of it having been sold or thrown away.

Saying goodbye to all of that was a lot easier than he had thought. Not that he really wanted to leave and go to New York, but there wasn't really anything that kept him in L.A. either.

Izzy and Jace waited for him in the corridor, and they went downstairs together. In the dark, Alec nearly would have tripped over a little figure curled up on the last step and the book lying next to his feet. He shook my head. Max must have been awake at some point, seeing that he was dressed and everything, but he must have fallen asleep again while waiting for his siblings to arrive. Alec envied him for his ability to sleep anywhere, at any given time. Sighing, he bent down to pick him up, trying not to wake him. He mumbled something incoherent and proceeded to bury his face in Alec's sweater. He didn't even budge when their mother honked impatiently.

"Okay, I think we're ready to go. Iz, Jace, you got everything?"

They nodded. Jace took Alec's bag and together they shuffled out of the front door, got into the car and set off to the airport. From the corner of my eye, Alec could see both Izzy and Jace turn their head to look back, staring at their house until they went round the corner and it disappeared out of their view.

Alec didn't look back.

 

* * *

 

About twelve hours later, he stood in an almost equally empty room, but this one was entirely unfamiliar and, much to his disdain, pretty much covered in dust and cobwebs. The thought of spiders inhabiting the same room as him made him shudder, and he briefly wondered if there was some way that he could talk one of his siblings into cleaning the room for him without making a complete fool out of himself. There probably wasn't, but it would be worth the humiliation.

The room was quite big and luminous in contrast to the rather dark ones in the rest of the house, which was nice. The large windows that reached down to the floor were facing towards the south-east, letting in the light of the late afternoon sun. With the sunrays being dispersed by the dust floating through the air it looked rather like a misty, but quite charming, especially with the antique cupboard and bed standing at the walls, looking as if they'd been taken out of another century. A part of him wished he would have gotten to choose his own furniture, but this one was alright, he guessed. He rather liked the dark wood the items were made of.

What he didn't like so much was the huge mirror on the opposite wall.

"Do you like it?" his mother asked behind him. "I was told this room had the best view. And, of course, it has the en-suite bathroom."

She sounded almost excited, which was very out of character for her. He supposed she was trying to make them all feel better about the move. Personally, he found it rather annoying (she wasn't very good at cheering people up, either), but he didn't want to be childish, nor did he want to disappoint her. So he carefully schooled his expression and searched for something positive to say about his new room without lying; his mother always knew when he was lying. _Everyone_ always knew when he was lying. His face gave him away every time.

"It's...bigger than the one back in L.A." he said, tentatively.

That wasn't much of a positive statement, but it seemed to be good enough for Maryse. "I knew you would like it."

"It looks as if it had been a lumber-room during the last century," Isabelle, who had, as always, appeared out of nowhere, commented.

"Well, I guess it _does_ need a bit of cleaning."

"A bit?" Isabelle snorted. "Alec will be lucky if he doesn't get eaten by the dust bunnies. Have fun cleaning."

"Thanks, Izzy, for always being so positive and supportive." Alec rolled his eyes.

"Just saying it how it is," she replied, shrugging. "But seriously, why is this room so dirty? The others are perfectly clean. Has no one used this room recently?"

"No one has used this room in a while. People tend to avoid it."

Alec turned around to see the former housekeeper, who had been giving them a tour through the house and was still hanging around to officially hand over the keys, standing in the doorway. He frowned. "Why?"

"They say this room is haunted."

"... _right_." Alec's voice was sceptic.

Isabelle started to laugh. "People still believe in this shit?"

The housekeeper stiffened, but remained silent. Alec watched him, frowning. He himself had never believed in superstitions or ghosts or anything like that, but the old man seemed to be quite convinced, despite his careful choice of words. Frankly, Alec thought it was stupid. Logic and reason defied everything vaguely spiritual, in his opinion, and he had always been a head-person. This blathering was just idiotic.

"So, what's the story behind this?" Isabelle asked, curious, but still grinning. "Will there be headless knights coming to chop Alec's head off? Is there a poltergeist that will pull his hair?"

"Nothing, of that kind, Miss, I can assure you," the man said, albeit still hesitant.

"What is it, then?"

"Isabelle," Maryse cut her off sternly. "Leave the poor man alone. It's just a bunch of scary stories." She turned towards Alec. "If you want another room, though-"

Alec rolled his eyes. "I'll be fine, mum."

"I'm just curious," his sister went on. "Please, tell me the story?"

The housekeeper swallowed. "There isn't much to tell. Some former owners of this house who slept in this room were convinced that there was a presence of something strange in here is all. Something that is locked in and cannot get out. Something...not exactly human. That is all I can tell you."

"So...have you ever seen the ghost?"

"Of course not," the man replied stiffly. From the way his eye twitched Alec could tell that he was lying. "It's just a story. No person was ever harmed in any way. It did make some people uncomfortable, though." He looked at Alec appraisingly. "If you'd prefer one of the guestrooms-"

"I'm _fine_ ," he interrupted the man, more sharply than he had originally intended. Did the old man actually expect him to believe this crap? Or did he just want to test whether Alec was a whimp? "That's a nice story, I guess, but I _really_ don't believe in ghosts. So can we end this conversation now? This is getting rather ridiculous and I'd like to get some cleaning done before I go to bed. The only thing that's wrong about this room is the state it's in." Alec took another look around. "Well, and maybe this," he said, indicating his head towards the mirror. "Can we throw that out?"

The old housekeeper flinched visibly.

"But why?" his mother asked, surprised. "The mirror is beautiful. It's very old, too, and probably worth a fortune."

"Well, I don't want it," Alec replied brusquely.

"You could need it, though," Isabelle snickered. "Maybe if you looked into a mirror more often it would help improve your fashion sense."

He resisted the urge to stick out his tongue. "I don't need it," he said. "I'd say you can have it, but you are vain enough."

The thing was, Alec had always hated looking at his own reflection, mostly because he was almost painfully self-conscious. He was well aware of all his flaws – he didn't need a huge mirror in his bedroom constantly reminding him of them.

"I'm sure we can find another place for it," Maryse assured him. "Or get rid of it. But we will deal with this later, when everything is unpacked and we know what else we are going to throw away."

Alec grimaced inwardly, but nodded. "Fine." He guessed he could cope with the mirror for a couple of days.

When his mother, Isabelle and the housekeeper finally decided to leave him alone, Alec went to search for a broom, a mop and some cleaning cloth. It took him nearly half an hour to find one in the multitude of boxes standing in every possible corner of the house, so to say he was in a bad mood when he finally started to clean would have been an extreme understatement. The lack of sleep the night prior and the prospect of encountering his phobia-inducing eight-legged nightmare didn't help, either. Nor did the cloud of dust engulfing him when he started to broom the floor. Alec kept coughing through the whole procedure, and had to stop more than once to get the dirt out of his eyes.

As he scrubbed the top of the cupboard ferociously, trying to rid it of the dirt and grease that had accumulated over the years, Alec saw a flash of pink in the corner of his eyes. He looked at the mirror, but there was nothing to be seen that wasn't supposed to be seen. It had probably been Isabelle walking past the room. He couldn't remember her wearing anything pink today, but knowing her it wasn't unlikely that she had changed three times since he had started cleaning.

Just when he was about to turn his attention back to his task, he saw it flash again. Frowning, he turned around to look at the door. Isabelle was nowhere to be seen. He hadn't heard her walk past, either, but that wasn't unusual – years of sneaking out of the window at night to go to some parties had given his sister incredible stealth. "Iz?" he called our questioningly, but no one answered. Either she had already returned to her room, which was just down the corridor, or he had imagined it after all.

Within the next three hours, Alec scrubbed and cleaned until his muscles hurt and the room was nearly shining like polished boots. Luckily, he didn't come face to face with any spiders, and as he examined his work he felt for the first time as if this room could actually be comfortable and cosy. Maybe.

"Hey," Jace said, poking his head in. "You want some take-out?"

Alec shook his head. "Not hungry."

Jace raised his eyebrows. "You sure? Personally, I'd go for it. It may be the last time we get edible food before Izzy decides the kitchen must be inaugurated and we have to face the horrors of having to choke down her dinosaur poop or whatever it is she produces."

Alec grinned. "Dinosaur poop? Now that's a new one."

"Well, I rather though that's what her last...meal resembled."

"I didn't know you had experience on what dinosaur poop tastes like," Alec remarked.

"Obviously, I don't, but I'm pretty sure that if I ever were to taste dinosaur poop, it would taste exactly like that."

His expression was so utterly disgusted that Alec couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks for the offer, but still, no. I'm really not hungry, just tired. I think I'll start unpacking a couple of boxes and then hit the sack. I didn't really get any sleep last night."

"Fine." He strolled off without another word.

Apparently there was no such thing as 'helping your siblings carrying the heavy cardboard boxes to the second floor'. Sighing, Alec left the room and trudged down the stairs. There were only a few boxes left by now, so it seemed that the other family members had put their time to good use as well. He searched a while until he found the box with the most important things, brought it upstairs and started to unpack, sorting his clothes into the closet. As he stepped back, he caught sight of a shadow moving in the mirror.

Alec froze. His eyes darted to the door, which was closed – there was no way he had seen the reflection of someone walking by this time. Carefully, he took a step towards the mirror, staring at it intently.

There was nothing to be seen. Just his own reflection, staring back at him with wide blue eyes.

Alec shook his head. _Come on, don't be ridiculous. There's nothing unusual here. It was just a figment of your imagination, resulting from the lack of sleep._

He blinked and rubbed his eyes. Sleep. Sleep sounded like a good idea. He needed some sleep. His mind was playing tricks on him, that was all. He was probably already half-asleep, otherwise there was no way these stupid stories would have any impact on him. He was only thinking about it because his brain didn't function correctly anymore thanks to the sleep deprivation. That was all.

Giving the mirror and the room one more excruciating look and then shaking his head at his own stupidity, Alec pulled out his pyjamas and got changed, climbed under the thin sheets and pressed his eyes shut.

Sleep. He needed sleep.

But somehow, he couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching him.

"Stop it, Lightwood," he murmured. "You're not a five year old child believing that there is a monster under your bed. You're being ridiculous."

He rolled onto his side, trying to make himself comfortable. It didn't work. The weariness didn't disappear, like it sometimes did when he tried to sleep and was suddenly wide awake, but as much as he tossed and turned, sleep wouldn't come. Eventually, he lay back on his back again, staring at the ceiling, thinking that maybe he should try to count sheep, except that that had never worked for him before. He groaned. Maybe he should go to Jace's room and ask his brother to knock him out (which would be the immediate consequence of waking him up at that hour anyway).

Suddenly, he heard a shuffle that was definitely not a product of his drowsy mind. He tensed, but only silence followed. In the end, he passed it off as nothing. Sure, he had been convinced the sound had come from his left, which was a little strange, but in the end it was probably just one of his siblings moving about in their rooms.

Alec closed his eyes again. About half an hour later, just as he was about to drift off into sleep, _finally_ , he heard the shuffles again.

This time, he sat up and turned on the lights.

And froze.

A face looked back at him from the mirror, apparently startled by the sudden flash of light. A perfectly angular face with tanned skin, glowing eyes and pitch black hair.

As much as Alec wanted to believe that this was just a dream, he knew deep inside that this was indeed reality.

There was a man in the mirror, and that man was not him.


	2. #174 Spellbound

Alec found himself unable to move. He just kept on staring at the man in the mirror with wide eyes, like a rabbit in front of a snake. The boy on the other side returned the look, tilting his head to the side and examining him with a look of mild curiosity on his face, looking much like his family's cat Church looked when having something edible dangling in front of his face and he contemplated whether or not it would be worth the effort to stand up from his spot near the fireplace and snatch it.

Alec stopped a second to consider this thought and then drew in a sharp breath as the reason why the boy reminded him so much of his cat bludgeoned him on his head repeatedly. It hadn't been so obvious with the light turned on, but as he shifted a little bit and shadows curled over his face, Alec could see it clearly: his eyes were shining in the dark, wide and green-golden with pupils shaped like a cat's.

He wanted nothing more than to recoil, but his muscles wouldn't obey. The room started to flicker before his eyes, light spots dancing all over it, and his head felt like mush.

A melodic voice drifted through the air and reached his ears, unfamiliar and soft and sweet like honey. "Breathe, darling."

Alec nearly choked on the breath he hadn't realised he had been holding while he sucked in the cold air. He coughed for about two minutes until his lungs finally went back to working normally, and the dizziness disappeared. Pressing his eyes shut, Alec counted to ten and hoped that when he opened them again the boy – the illusion, thing, whatever it was – would be gone.

"My," the voice piped up again, sounding infinitely amused, "I am well aware that I am quite spectacular and evoke very special reactions in people, but I do think that no one has ever been so blinded by my marvellous and flawless visage that it nearly killed them."

"What do people usually do when they see you, then?" Alec asked, still not opening his eyes. _This is insane. You're only dreaming. You're having a conversation with someone who doesn't exist. Stop it, stop it now! Wake up!_

"They scream."

Alec opened one eye, peeked at the mirror and closed it again. The face was still there. As surreptitiously as possible, he moved to pinch himself. It hurt. Did that mean he was awake, then? Did it hurt when you pinched yourself in a dream?

Either the boy in the mirror had seen his movement or he had anticipated his reaction. "You're not dreaming," he stated matter-of-factly. "You're awake. You might just as well open your eyes."

"That's impossible," Alec replied, still refusing to blink his eyes open. "I don't believe in ghosts."

"Says the boy talking to a face in a mirror," the boy commented dryly. "I'd say you can either open your eyes accept that this is reality or you might want to consider that you have gone insane."

"I'm dreaming."

There was a heavy sigh. "Open your pretty eyes, boy. You know you're not dreaming."

Alec obliged.

"Now, that's better."

There was a small pause during which the face in the mirror continued to examine him thoroughly and Alec wished this wasn't happening to him. Eventually, curiosity got the better of him, though – once he was sure the boy wouldn't jump out of the mirror and strangle him or something. Maybe he should have watched more fantasy movies when he was a kid, then maybe his knowledge on supernatural beings would be broader. Then again, he couldn't imagine these films got anything right, so this knowledge probably wouldn't prove to be significantly helpful. He leaned forward to get a better look at the creature while still maintaining a certain safe distance.

Aside from the cat eyes, the boy looked perfectly human. Judging from his skin tone and slightly almond-shaped eyes he guessed that he was at least partly Asian. His black hair was spiked up wildly, some streaks being highlighted in pink. There was actually not only the face – Alec could see an equally bright pink T-Shirt now and assumed that if the mirror had been reaching down to the ground, he would have found that there was an actual full body behind the glass. In the glass. Whatever.

"Okay," he began slowly, "who are you and what the fuck are you doing in my bedroom?"

"Well," the boy said, "technically I'm not _in_ your bedroom. Also, this was not very polite."

"Let me rephrase then: who are you and what the fuck are you doing in the mirror that is hanging inside of my bedroom?" Alec hissed, unwilling to be any friendlier to a stranger who showed up unwarrantedly in his private chamber.

The cat eyes flashed with anger. "It's not like I _want_ to be here."

"Why don't you fuck off, then?" Alec asked angrily. "Just go away."

"Believe me, I'd love to, but unfortunately that's impossible. I can't just go away."

"Oh really? You weren't here earlier today," he remarked. "So go back to wherever you were before."

"Before," the boy grit out, "I was here as well. You just couldn't see me."

Alec opened his mouth and shut it again, because he had forgotten what had intended to say. A part of him (the rational and bigger part of his brain, to be precise) was still screaming that this was fucking ludicrous and not really happening. The other part of him, which had strangely accepted the idea of a boy standing inside his mirror, was just annoyed at not being able to sleep. "But," he said slowly, "that means you could leave me alone, right? Like, now. Please."

There was a look of hurt crossing the boy's features, but it was gone before Alec could really think about it. "I know this is not really a good time-"

"Not really a good time?" Alec echoed, snorting. "It's three o'clock in the morning. I don't think there could be a worse time for conversing with someone whose room you have trespassed and who just wants to sleep."

The boy, very obviously biting back a snarky remark, drew in a deep breath. "I apologize," he said, slowly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't."

The boy in the mirror raised an eyebrow but refrained from commenting on this. Then he sighed. "Fine. I see that this wasn't the best approach and it would be pointless to try and talk to you now. We can resume out conversation in the morning, if that is more convenient for you."

Alec blinked. "Um...okay?" he said hesitantly.

"Okay," the boy suddenly flashed him a smile. "Sweet dreams, darling." It looked as if he took a step to the side, and then he was gone.

"What the-," Alec cursed under his breath, scrambled out of his bed and rushed to the mirror. There was nothing to be seen, no matter what angle he tried, but he could have sworn he heard someone giggle. He frowned.

Then he shook his head. "I'm going insane," he said to no one in particular. There was no response. Of course there wasn't. There had never been anyone in his room aside from him.

Right?

All of a sudden, Alec felt dead tired. Maybe because he had been awake for way too long. Maybe because his head threatened to explode from thinking too much. He didn't know, and frankly, at this moment, he didn't care. He let himself fall onto the bed and let sleep take him away, away from his swirling thoughts and the confusion and disbelief and cat eyes shining in the darkness, into a comforting silence and a peaceful state of thoughtlessness.

 

* * *

 

He woke up a couple of hours later, feeling strangely misplaced and disoriented. Groggy, he sat up and groaned when his muscles protested and a sharp pain seared through his head. Alec waited a few seconds until it dulled down and then rubbed his eyes, daring to take a look at the mirror. Nothing. Sighing in relief, he turned to have a look at his alarm clock instead. The digital numbers indicated that it was only seven in the morning; no wonder he had a headache worse than that one time he'd woken up with a hangover when Jace and Izzy had bribed him into celebrating his sixteenth birthday with some shots of Tequila. Maybe if he went to sleep earlier tonight, he'd be able to catch up on the sleep he'd lost, since it was apparently impossible for him to sleep in; even without the first rays of sunlight waking him, like they had done at home, he was unable to turn off his internal clock that was telling him to get up early even when he had nowhere to be.

Alec stretched, felt his vertebrae pop back into place and grimaced. There was a high possibility that none of the other family members up yet, and since he was positive that he would not be able to get back to sleep he could just as well enjoy the perks of being able to have breakfast in peace and absolute silence. Really, though, one learned to appreciate silence when living with siblings like Isabelle and Jace, because these moments were rare and therefore special, particularly for someone like Alec, who wasn't fond of noise.

On his way to the bathroom, Alec stopped once more at the mirror. He knocked against it, testing. The material vibrated under the impact and emitted a sound similar to the cold note of two glasses clinking together, but aside from that, there was nothing.

"I knew it was just a stupid dream," he murmured and shuffled off to brush his teeth. Once had splashed some cold water onto his face, he actually felt slightly less zombie-like. He still had a nice set of dark rings under his eyes to show off, but at least his face didn't look as grey as it had yesterday. It was a minor improvement, but an improvement nonetheless.

Slowly, he scuffled back into his room, changed from his pyjamas into the pair of jeans he had worn the day before and grabbed a new T-Shirt from his closet.

"Good morning, love," someone said next to him. Someone who was definitely male but neither Jace nor Max nor his father, and yet he recognized the voice at once.

Alec jerked back, hit his head on the closet door and, when stumbling back, bumped his toes against the bedpost. "Ow, shit, _ow!"_

"Oops," the boy said mildly. "Sorry for startling you."

Alec wanted to snap at him, but the words stuck in his throat which was suddenly very dry. The only thing he managed to croak was: "You."

"Yes, me. I hope you're in a better mood now, and up for some talking. Or are you always as grumpy as last night?" The boy blinked at him, tilting his head. "Still believe this is all a dream?"

He swallowed. "No." How could he? He knew for a fact that he was wide awake this time. Alec looked down, trying to avoid looking at the intense eyes staring at him. Then, realising he was still shirtless, he flushed and quickly pulled the T-Shirt over his head. "Wait-" he said. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Five, ten minutes? I came here as soon as you woke me up."

"Woke you- wait, you saw me _change_?" Alec nearly screeched.

"Yes. So?"

"You, you-" Alec was at a loss of words. By now, he was probably beet red. It was bad enough that there was some stranger in his bedroom, but now this stranger had also seen him half-naked. "Oh _God_. And it didn't occur to tell me you were there earlier? Did you at least look away?"

By now, the boy in the mirror was grinning. "Don't worry, love. It's not the first time I saw a guy in boxer shorts."

"You-"

"Also," he continued, ignoring the strangled noises Alec was emitting, "I thought you'd know I was there. After all, you woke me up to talk to you."

"Woke you up?" Alec parroted.

"You hammered against the glass, remember?" the boy asked sourly. "Not the nicest way of announcing you were awake. My head nearly fell off. I can _still_ hear the sound reverberating in my ears. Really, for the next time please keep in mind that you wouldn't want to be woken up by a noise resembling the one of a church bell chiming right next to your ear."

Alec cleared his throat. "Um...sorry. I didn't know you were-"

"Sleeping? Existent?" The boy sighed and rubbed his temple. "Yeah, well, that's how it is. Apology accepted. Just don't do it again. And please don't scream like that again. You're giving me a headache."

"I didn't scream," Alec protested.

"You did. Just a little, though," he conceded. "You're holding up remarkably well. Most of the others ran from the room screaming like banshees. Anyway, let's start from the beginning, right? I think I didn't catch your name last night. You are...?"

"Alec," he answered automatically, "Alec Lightwood." Biting his lip, he edged forwards a little until he could fully see the mirror. "But I think the more important question is _who are_ _you_? Or _what_ are you?"

A smile played around the corner's of the boy's lips. "My name is Magnus Bane. That should answer the first question. As for the second one – do you want the long or the short version of the story? Because I could probably break it down to 'Hello, my name is Magnus Bane and I am currently stuck in the mirror in your bedroom, would you please help me get out of here?'"

"That doesn't really answer the question," Alec said. "Are you a ghost? How come I can see you now, during the day? Don't you have to stick to the witching hour or something?"

Magnus chuckled. "I'm not a ghost."

"You aren't?"

"No. At least I don't _think_ I am a ghost. Last time I checked, you had to be dead to be a ghost, and I am pretty sure I can feel my heart beating. I don't think ghosts get headaches, either."

"Okay," Alec inhaled deeply. So there was a living...thing inside his mirror. "What are you then?"

"I'm a warlock." A bubble of laughter fought its way up Alec's throat. Magnus didn't look amused. "If you are going to say this is bullshit and warlocks don't exist, just like you said you didn't believe in ghosts last night, then tell me, why are you talking to me? If you still refuse to believe that I am more than a mirage, than a figment of your imagination, why are you talking to me? And, pray tell, how did you think I ended up in that mirror? Do you think I stumbled in here by accident?"

"I...no. Probably not." Alec down at his hands again, twisting and untwisting his fingers. "Sorry, I...it's just...this is _crazy_ ," blurted out, burying his head in his hands.

"It's not. It just seems to be crazy for you because there is such a big part of the world that you are unfamiliar with. For me, it's not crazy, it's just fucking uncomfortable. I suppose that since you've never been stuck in a mirror and have nothing to compare, you can't imagine what it's like, but I can assure you, it's not desirable in the slightest."

"I was stuck in a closet once," Alec offered weakly. "We were playing hide and seek and Jace accidentally locked me in. I was in there for the entire rest of the day until they finally found me."

Magnus cocked one eyebrow. "And you are absolutely sure you're not stuck in there anymore?"

"What?"

"Oh sorry. Different closet. Can we get back to the topic, please?"

Alec cleared his throat, trying to fight the blush that was threatening to creep up all the way from his neck into his cheeks. He _had_ understood the implications of Magnus's statement. Of course he had. Maybe he should just go and hide under his blanket and die from mortification. How did Magnus know that anyway? Had it just been a shot in the dark or did he have the word 'gay' tattooed on his forehead? Figuring it would be the best to just dismiss Magnus's hint and pretend this part of the conversation had never happened, he ran his fingers through his messy hair and forced himself to meet Magnus's eyes. "Alright. Let me try to sum things up. You're a warlock. You're alive, but you're somehow stuck in that mirror and cannot come out...although you're a warlock and probably should be able to hex your way out of there? Did I get this right?"

Magnus pulled a face. "Don't question my magical abilities, darling," he said, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. "I have tried every single spell I had memorized _thrice_ – I've had enough time, after all – and nothing worked. Like I said, I didn't just stumble into this mess. I have been _cursed_ into this mirror, and unless I find the counter spell I will be forced to stay in here _forever_."

They stayed silent for a while, while Alec tried to digest what he had just heard and made a feeble attempt to sort out all the questions that were jumping up and down in his head with their arms raised like overeager students in class going 'I know the answer, I know the answer, please, teacher, pick me!'. "Who cursed you?" he asked in the end. "And why? Why would someone do this?"

Magnus shrugged, seeming quite indifferent. "A female warlock I had a quarrel with. It's of little importance who did it." He laughed quietly, bitterly. "Can't say I don't appreciate the irony, though."

Alec blinked.

"The mirror," Magnus explained when he saw the confused look on his face. "She thought I was a vain, conceited prick who spent more time admiring my reflection than anything else. She said, I quote, 'this must be paradise for you – you get to be part of the one item you love the most'."

"I...see," Alec said, although he didn't really see anything at all. He was just terribly confused. "And why exactly did you say you are talking to me again?"

Magnus rolled his eyes. "I would have thought that much would be obvious," he noted, scoffing, as if Alec had just said something inconceivably stupid. "I want you to get me out."


	3. #106 That's all I ask of you

Alec blinked. "Come again?"

Magnus sighed, a mixture of exasperation and frustration, and gave him a look that made absolutely clear that he thought Alec was a lost cause. "Are you hearing impaired or are there just not enough active brain cells in that pretty little head of yours?"

That was when Alec had enough. He'd always had a bit of a temper – one of his many flaws – and right now the anger was boiling up inside him like the lava in a volcano. Really, who did that guy think he was? "You know what, Bane?" he spat. "Go fuck yourself!" With that, he took off, storming out of his room and slamming the door shut behind him.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten that it was only seven-thirty in the morning and making a noise that was sure to wake his siblings up was not the wisest thing to do. Jace's reaction was instantaneous – not even ten seconds later, Alec could hear the sound of something heavy hitting the wall. "Oi! I'm trying to get some fucking sleep in here!" he hollered.

A blink of an eye later, Isabelle poked her head out of her room, looking tired but at the same time infuriated and sent Alec a glare that suggested that if it wasn't for the fact that he was her brother, she'd rip him to pieces and feed his intestines to Church. "I hope you have a _very_ good explanation for this, Alexander Gideon Lightwood," she said, very slowly.

He had, but somehow he didn't think there was a way of saying 'there's someone in my bedroom mirror and he's being a complete asshole 'that would somehow not sound as if he was insane. So, although still seething with anger, he bit his tongue and then said, through his teeth, "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." The words came out a little forced, despite his efforts. "The doorknob kinda slipped out of my hand," he added, for good measure.

Maybe it was that sentence – the obvious lie – that made his sister perk up, or maybe it was something else, but the result was the same: her expression went from furious to confused to curious to worried within milliseconds. "Whoa," she said, raising her eyebrows. "What did get you that worked up?"

Alec squinted and avoided her gaze by looking at his feet. They were still bare, and the floor was cold, but there was no way in hell he'd go back into his room to get a pair of socks now. "Nothing," he mumbled and turned to take flight as quickly as possible. "Sorry again. Try to go back to sleep. I'll make breakfast."

Izzy stayed put for a while, watching him walk away hurriedly, before half-shouting, "There better be pancakes when I come downstairs!" and retreating back into her room. Alec heard the door click shut just as he reached the stairs, and sighed in relieve. She was sure to come around later and pester him about this, that much was certain, but at least he had managed to avert the disaster that was usually following one of Isabelle's outbursts. Also, he was infinitely grateful for the circumstance that his parents had their bedroom on the ground floor and would consequently most likely not have noticed what was going on upstairs.

Alec jogged down the stairs and made a beeline into the kitchen. Despite not having eaten anything for dinner the previous day, he found that he was not hungry at all; the agitation had completely destroyed his appetite for the time being. Considering the miniscule amount of sleep he had gotten, coffee sounded like a good option, though. He searched through the drawers and cabinets for a good ten minutes until he had finally found everything he needed and decided to make his coffee about twice as strong as he usually did. Jace and Izzy were sure to complain about this later, because Alec liked his coffee ridiculously strong anyway, but at this moment, he simply couldn't have cared less.

While waiting for his coffee to brew, Alec slumped down on one of the high chairs at the island, trying to sort and organize his thoughts. It turned out to be much harder than he had anticipated, mostly, he supposed, because he still found it hard to believe that this was real. For a second, he contemplated telling his siblings about the boy in the mirror, but he quickly dismissed the thought. What if they couldn't see him? What if Magnus decided to be a prick again and just didn't show himself to them, just to screw up Alec's life? He didn't really know anything about the boy, but he wouldn't put it past him. In fact, he wouldn't put _anything_ past him. That witch had probably had a good reason for hexing him. If he was always that annoying, it would be an action Alec could relate to.

And even if his siblings could see him, well, what good would that be? It wasn't like they would know what to do in this situation, after all. They'd be just as clueless as him.

The coffee machine beeped, indicating that his coffee was ready and jerking him out of his train of thoughts. Suppressing a yawn, Alec slid off the chair and poured himself a cup of coffee, blinking when he took in the strong scent. He frowned. Just how many spoons of coffee powder per cup had he used? Four? Five? He eyed the package suspiciously. It looked pretty empty already. Oh well.

Alec shrugged, took a sip and nearly spit the liquid out a second later.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he cursed, coughing. Five teaspoons? It was more like eight or nine.

"Yuk!" He grimaced, dumped half of the cup's content in the sink and filled it up with water. It still tasted like shit – and was still very, _very_ strong -, but at least he could actually get it down. And it _did_ help to clear his mind a little.

So what the hell was he supposed to do, anyway? And what made Magnus think that he could help him in any way? From what the warlock had said, Alec understood that there had been a bunch of people who had been able to see him, and yet he was still locked in that mirror. Why was that? Had the others not stayed to listen to his story? Or had they simply been unable to help? And if it was the latter, why should he be any different?

Alec groaned and rubbed his forehead. His mind had begun to swirl again thanks to the questions constantly nagging at him, and he could fell the dull throbs of a headache approaching. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to stop thinking at last and get out of here. Maybe he could explore the streets a little and kill two birds with one stone by buying Isabelle some pancakes. That would not only make her happy and possibly pacify her after the incident earlier this morning, but also spare him the horrors of having to eat her self-made breakfast in case she conquered the kitchen before his mother had any change to go in there.

The only problem was that to get out he would need some socks and, most of all, his shoes, all of which were safely stored in his bedroom upstairs, the one room he did not want to enter right now.

Great.

Alec wanted to scream in frustration. He felt as if his head was going to explode any second. Why, why did this have to happen to him?

So what was the lesser of two evils? Go insane sitting here, staring at his awful coffee and repeating the same questions over and over again in his head until there was steam coming out of his ears from thinking too much or going upstairs to fetch his stuff, which included the possible risk of having to face Magnus?

Alec sighed. He had to return to his room sooner or later; there was no avoiding it, so he supposed he might as well get it over with. Maybe he would get lucky and Magnus was so pissed that he had retreated to whatever place he went to when he wasn't driving Alec crazy.

Of course, he didn't have that luck.

He should have figured.

When he entered the room, he could see Magnus's face well-defined in the mirror, all sharp angles and soft, golden skin. His eyes were glinting mesmerizingly, despite there being no sunlight falling onto the mirror which his eyes could reflect. Odd as they were, they were really quite beautiful, and they suited him, somehow.

Magnus's head perked up when he heard him entering the room. For a moment, Alec considered simply ignoring him or saying something that would make him leave him alone, but the warlock beat him to it.

"I'm sorry," he said before Alec could do as much as open his mouth. He sounded genuinely apologetic, which startled Alec and was the only reason he didn't glare at him. In fact, he could feel his eyes widen in surprise. An apology was pretty much the last thing he'd expected to come out of Magnus's mouth. From the little he knew about him, he would have assumed Magnus was not the type of guy to admit having made a mistake and apologise for screwing up. People with that much confidence and narcissism tended to not give a fuck about things like that. They were just too proud. It was something Alec had learned the hard way, living with people like Jace and Izzy. He loved them dearly, he really did, but it had taken him some time to accept the fact that he would hardly ever get an apology. It didn't matter that much to him now that he knew that the few apologies coming out of his siblings' mouths were actually genuine, but it did bother him with other people, probably because he was the kind of person to apologise too easily. Maybe he had been mistaken about Magnus's personality.

He wasn't going to make it that easy for him, though. "Oh, really," he asked, raising his eyebrows sceptically.

Magnus sighed. "Yes, _really_. Look, I know I was being a dick earlier. I shouldn't have insulted you like that. It was inappropriate and mean and complete out of place, and I apologise. I know this must all be very confusing for you, and hard to understand, but I have to admit that my nerves are kind of strained after being stuck in here for so long, too, and I have never been an extraordinarily patient person anyway. Still, I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you. After all, you are not to blame for my situation." He paused for a moment, his dark eyes trained on Alec. "So, will you please accept my apology and talk to me again?"

Alec hesitated for a second, then sighed in defeat. "Fine," he murmured, not wanting to be unfair. He was still a little miffed, but Magnus had apologised and meant it and that should be enough. Also, Alec wanted nothing more than to get Magnus out of his bedroom as soon as possible, and for that he needed to help and talk to him. To a certain degree, he could also understand the other boy. As uncomfortable as this entire situation was for him, it must be a lot harder to deal with all of this for Magnus. In fact, it was probably a _lot_ worse for him, being a warlock and still completely helpless, having to depend on others. While Alec felt overwhelmed, it must be so much harder for Magnus, having no control over this situation, over his own life, at all.

In the end, Alec thought, _he_ was the one who held all the straws in his hand. Basically, Magnus was at his mercy. If he decided not to help him, he would remain stuck in this bloody mirror for a while, until he found someone else who would agree to help him. Maybe even for years, if Alec and his family didn't move out again and no one else could see him. A knot started to form in Alec's gut as he considered this, and he felt nauseous. The idea of being the key to Magnus's fate – at least temporarily – and having to assume the responsibility for him frightened him.

"I'll help you," he said, his voice raspy and shaky.

Magnus looked as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "Thank you," he breathed.

Alec smiled wryly. "I don't have much of a choice, now, have I?" he asked rhetorically. "No offense, but I kind of want to get rid of you as soon as possible. I'd like to have _my_ bedroom to myself, without a random stranger perving on me, thank you very much."

"As soon as possible sounds good to me," Magnus remarked. "And I wasn't perving on you, just to make this clear once and for all. It's not _my_ fault you decided to strip in front of me without checking whether I was there or not." He flashed him a quick smile that made his green eyes light up. "Still, I can't say I didn't enjoy the view."

By the time Magnus had finished his speech, his grin had turned decidedly wicked. Alec's face, in turn, was burning, and he knew he was blushing feverishly, half from embarrassment, half from anger. "Okay, that's it," he said, once he had regained his composure enough to ensure he didn't splutter, "I will _definitely_ make sure I can throw you out of here asap. Until then, don't you dare creeping up on me when I'm changing or I will kill you."

"Duly noted," Magnus replied, but he was still grinning. Clearly, he didn't take Alec's threat too seriously. Alec was almost inclined to show him just how serious he had been, but curiosity got the better of him first.

"How long have you been stuck in there anyway?" he asked.

Magnus frowned. "I don't know," he admitted, rubbing his temples. "I lost count ages ago. It's not that easy to keep track of the days in here, especially when the room is mostly shut down and you are therefore deprived of the only indicator, the sunlight. Even with the curtains opened, it's hard to tell whether it's day or night outside." He shrugged. "What day is it?"

"July twenty-third," Alec answered automatically.

"What year?"

Alec blinked. "Two thousand eleven," he said slowly.

"Well, in that case..." Magnus trailed off, his frown deepening, almost turning into a grimace as he calculated the time in his head. "About...fifteen years?"

It was then that Alec lost control over his lower jaw. For a very long time all he could do was stare at the boy in the mirror open-mouthed, disbelief written all over his face. "Fifteen... _fifteen_ years?" he repeated weakly.

"Fifteen years, two months and nine days, to be exact. Or maybe it's more; I don't think I considered the leap years."

"You're...you're kidding me, right?"

Magnus managed a small, wry smile. "I wish I was, darling," he said, his voice bitter.

"But that's...that's impossible," Alec spluttered. "How old were you when you were cursed? Eight? Ten? You don't look much older than me. Or-" Alec interrupted himself as another idea occurred to him. "Or do you just not age in there?"

Magnus took a moment to consider this. "I don't know," he then answered truthfully. "I think I do, though. I don't like to admit it, but I'm older than I look."

Great. So he didn't only have a boy his age shamelessly spying on him while changing in his room, which would have been bad enough in itself already, no, he was having a freaking paedophile in here. "How much older exactly?" Alec asked warily.

Magnus shrugged. "Much older. Warlocks stop aging once they reach adulthood."

"So you're telling me that you are basically...immortal?"

"Basically, yes. We can still be killed, though, if you know how."

Alec swallowed. His throat was suddenly very dry. "You still haven't really answered my first question," he noted. "How much older? How old are you?"

Magnus pursed his lips. "Let's just say that I am old enough to have met some of the people you learn about in History class in person. Napoleon, for example. A surprisingly boring fellow, if you ask me."

Alec felt the entire colour leave his face. "Dear God," he murmured. This was getting weirder minute by minute. He shook his head. "Wait," he said suddenly, "you are over two hundred years old and, despite all your experience, still haven't managed to free yourself?"

"I already told you," Magnus said sourly, "I tried every spell I could remember, but even I don't know everything by heart. I need to find the right counter spell, and since I have no idea which kind of spell she used, this is proving to be somewhat difficult."

"But," Alec began tentatively, "what I mean is, if someone like you, a warlock, cannot find a way to escape, how am I going to be able to help you? I mean, I can't use magic and there is nothing special about me."

"Oh, I think you are wrong here," Magnus murmured almost inaudibly. "I think you can't even begin to fathom just how special you are."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing." The warlock shook his head quickly, as if trying to shoo away an unnerving insect. "It's true that you probably won't be able to get me out yourself, since magic can only be undone by magic and you are no warlock. However, what you _can_ do is help me try to find the right spell. That's all I ask of you, really. Look through my spellbooks and see if we can find anything useful."

Alec shifted uncomfortably. "Magnus," he said slowly, "there aren't any books in here. You lived here a long time ago and a lot of people have been moving in and out of this house for fifteen years. They'll most likely have thrown away or sold everything you left behind. I don't think that aside from this mirror there is any of your furniture or your belongings left in this house."

Magnus's reaction was nothing like he had expected it to be. Instead of being shocked or devastated, a positively cheerful grin began to spread across his face. "Get in the closet, Alec."

" _What_?"

The boy in the mirror almost doubled over with laughter upon seeing his dumbstruck expression. "I'm not making fun of you, love. Time to go to Narnia."


	4. #322 Wandering hidden paths

_**.** _

"I don't think I understand."

Magnus's grin widened. "When I say 'get in the closet', I mean it literally, not figuratively. After all, we both know there's no need for you to go into the metaphorical one because you're already in there, safely hiding behind tightly locked doors. Now-"

"Stop that!" Alec cut in, trembling with rage. "Stop saying that! You know nothing about me!" Realising he had raised his voice to a volume near to shouting, he bit his lip and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He didn't make much progress with that, but he found that clenching and unclenching his fist helped to fight the urge to punch something – or rather, some _one._ "I'm in no closet at all," he insisted. "I don't know why you keep saying that."

"Of course you aren't, darling," Magnus said, his voice oozing with sarcasm. "I'd pull the 'denial ain't just a river in Egypt' joke, except that one is ancient and stopped being funny about five minutes after being used for the first time. You don't wanna talk about it?" Magnus shrugged. "Fine then. Whatever you say, love."

"Stop calling me that." Alec grimaced. "I'm not your darling, I'm not your love, I'm not your anything."

The warlock pouted, but didn't raise any objections, possibly because Alec looked ready to throttle him. "No pet names either, I get it. I'll try to refrain myself, I promise. Let's get back to the original topic before I can put my foot in it once more. The closet."

Alec tensed, but luckily Magnus didn't seem to plan to tease him any more. "What's with it?" he asked.

The grin returned to Magnus's face, making him look extremely pleased with himself, like a cat that had gotten all the cream. "The books," he announced magnanimously, "are in there."

Alec blinked. "...right," he said slowly. "Look, I don't want to disappoint you, but the only things you will find in that closet are my clothes. I think I would have noticed if there were any books in there."

"Maybe you need to look again," Magnus replied, sounding smug. "Or you should get a pair of glasses. Ever been to an optician?"

"I'm not fucking blind."

"Oh, that's what you mundanes all think," Magnus muttered under his breath. "You all think you are so clever, but there is so much you just can't see. You go through the world and you just refuse to see its beauty, its diversity. You only notice what you want to see. So yes, you are blind, all of you. Worse than moles, if you ask me. In this particular case, I can't blame you, though. In fact, I'd actually be worried if you were able to see them. " Upon seeing Alec's incredulous look, he chuckled. "You didn't think I'd leave my precious and invaluable spellbooks lying around for everyone to see, did you?"

Alec contemplated that for a second. "Well...probably not," he admitted.

"I rest my case," Magnus smiled. "Now can you just stop being difficult and do as I say?"

"Please."

"What?"

"Can you do as I say, _please,"_ Alec emphasized.

"Dear Lord," Magnus rolled his eyes and buried his face in his right hand. "Of all the people in the world who could have come to live in this room I get the one with the older brother syndrome. Are you really going to try and give me lessons on courtesy and politeness?"

"Well, apparently it's something your parents failed to teach you," Alec commented dryly. "But don't worry, it's never too late to start learning, even if you have to make up for several hundreds of years worth of decent education."

Magnus's expression darkened considerably at his words. "Thank you, but I don't think I need you to teach me any manners. My manners are impeccable if I want them to be," he replied coolly. "Although my parents did indeed fail to give me an understanding of them."

There was an edge to his voice that made Alec prick his ears, but he deemed it better not to call him out on it. It seemed that he had already put the warlock on an edge, and it would be no good pissing him off completely. As much as he disliked it, they had to work together. If he wanted Magnus out of his mirror, he'd better do as he said.

He inhaled deeply and then got up and walked towards the closet. "Okay. So what do I have to do exactly? Get in the closet – and then what?"

There was a small pause, and then the tension vanished from Magnus's face. "On the left side, just below the top shelf – can you see something there?"

Alec poked his head in, narrowing his eyes as he scrutinized the wood. Even with the light turned on, it was hard to make out any details. Slowly, he raised his hand and let his fingers slide over the surface until he felt it: a slight asperity, hardly noticeable. Frowning, he followed the contours with his fingers. "Yeah," he said, "there's something carved into the wood here. Some sort of sign. A rune, maybe? I don't know, I've never seen anything like it before."

"Of course you haven't. This sign is ancient – a rune from a demonic language. Its purpose is to block people out, to lock doors," Magnus explained. "I put an additional spell on it, too, to strengthen its effect. No one can get past it except for me-"

"The how do _I_ get in?"

"Let me finish, please. No one can get past it except for me _and_ people who I specifically allow in. Since I've practically ordered you to go in, it should open automatically if you put your hand over the rune. And if it doesn't," Alec looked back to see Magnus shrugging, "you can always try the password."

"The password? What, like 'open sesame'?" Alec joked.

"I'm a bit more original that that."

"I bet you are," Alec mumbled, covering the rune with his hand.

Nothing happened.

"Well," he remarked, "I hope you haven't forgotten the password, because this doesn't seem to be working."

Magnus let out a quiet curse. "I should have known. My magic doesn't work the way it used to while I'm in here." He sighed. "The password is _quaerere verum_."

"'Quaerere verum' – seek the truth?" Alec echoed. "I suppose that's kind of fitting – and a lot classier than I expected it to be," he added quietly in a voice so low that he was sure Magnus couldn't hear it. He didn't feel up to another argument with the warlock.

"I didn't know you knew Latin." Magnus sounded surprised.

"I didn't know you did," Alec shot back. "I- whoa!" All of a sudden, the wood under his hand had begun to emit a radiant warmth, and when he pulled back his hand abruptly, he saw that the rune had started to glow red.

"Is it working?"

Alec swallowed. "I think so," was all he managed to get out as he stared in wonder at the events happening right in front of him. The light coming from the rune spread, creating a thick web of glowing lines all over the wooden surface, drawing mysterious patterns, and the air started to buzz around him. And then, just as promptly as it had begun, it stopped. The light was gone and so was the sound, and for a second, Alec thought that something had gone wrong. The next thing he knew was that he could hear the soft, creaking noise of a door opening, and there was a faint streak of light breaking through at the edges of the closet walls. When he gently pushed against the wood, the board yielded and swung open to reveal a room so stunning that Alec felt his mouth drop open once again.

The room was spacious, with high walls that were mostly covered by lines and lines of bookshelves which were interrupted ever so often by large windows reaching from the floor to the ceiling, allowing the sunlight to flood the entire library and illuminate every minuscule corner. In the middle, there was a large, round table next to some oddly ornamented but comfy-looking armchairs in all sorts of bright colours. Unlike Alec's room, which had been covered in dust an cobwebs after hardly ever being used in the past decade, everything about the library looked as if the owner had just been away for not longer than five minutes with open books lying on the table, next to an open bottle and a half-empty glass of red wine, and a coat carelessly flung over the backrest of one of the chairs. It wasn't exactly what Alec would call clean, but that was only due to the eminent chaos and disorder predominating in the room, not because it had been abandoned for fifteen years.

"I've been pulled into a fucked up version of Alice in Wonderland," he murmured, shaking his head in incredulity.

Two thoughts crossed his mind.

One: This room was quite possibly the most beautiful place he had ever seen.

Two: There was no way in hell he could search all these books for possible counter spells. If he did, they'd still be sifting through everything by the time he had finished college (and quite frankly, he didn't really intent to stay with his parents for that long. Moving out was quite the appealing prospect at this point of his life.).

"Alec?" Magnus's voice interrupted his thoughts, sounding mulled and distant, a thousand miles away. He really hoped he wasn't shouting; what if Izzy and Jace could hear him? "Did you get in?"

Quickly, Alec moved back out of the library and into his room. "Yeah," he said, once he'd scrambled out of the closet and moved into Magnus's field of vision again. "It's...impressive."

"Why thank you," Magnus grinned. "I would have been slightly worried if it hadn't had any effect on you, I must say. It took me centuries to collect all these books."

"Yeah, well, I just hope you remember how you organised them all. Did you alphabetise them by titles or authors, or arrange them according to topics?"

Magnus blinked at him as if he'd just started speaking Chinese.

Then again, he might understand it if Alec started talking in Chinese, for all he knew.

"What?" Alec asked.

"They're not organised," Magnus said slowly.

"You're kidding me, right?" said Alec. "Please tell me you're kidding me."

"Unfortunately, no."

"This is..." Alec was at a loss of words. "This is unbelievable. Really. Where the hell am I even supposed to start looking?"

Magnus shifted, suddenly looking quite uncomfortable. "I have no idea."

Alec threw his hands up in a gesture of utter exasperation, and began to tear at his hair. "I can't believe you and your fucking _incompetence_. No wonder you're stuck in there. You want to be a powerful warlock? Don't make me laugh! I bet you didn't even find a single spell you were looking for in there."

"Hey!" Magnus growled deeply. "Just because I'm not a neatness freak like you doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. I never needed to organise the books, or anything in my house, really, because I could simply snap my fingers and hold the desired item in my hand a second later. And yes, that means I actually do know every single book and its contents in there."

Alec frowned. "If you can simply snap your fingers to conjure up your books and have a general idea which books you are looking for, why don't you just do exactly that now that the library is opened? It would save us all a lot of time, I suppose."

"I fear that is not going to work," the warlock sighed. "You see, the problem was never that the library was closed. Technically, I am able to conjure up things from all over the world as long as I have an at least vague picture of it in my mind. But, as I said before, my magic hasn't been working the way it should ever since I got trapped in this mirror. In fact, I'm not quite sure whether I can use magic in here at all. No, wait. Actually, I _know_ I can use it," he went on, leaning against the frame of the mirror. It was a very odd image, Alec thought. He would have resembled a male model in some fashion advert with his casual posture if it hadn't been for the frustrated look on his face. "I've used magic in here before. See?"

Magnus raised his hand, and rainbow coloured, glittering sparks bounced up and down above his palm like little kids on a trampoline. It reminded Alec of watching fireworks on New Year's Eve.

"The thing is, I don't think my powers extend to any point outside this room that I am in. I've tried to magick things into the mirror, but it didn't work. It's as if the power was hitting a brick wall it cannot overcome and then vanishes into nothingness. I've even tried breaking the walls with raw magical strength, but even that didn't work. Actually, a great deal of it was repelled. Bounced off the walls and nearly hit me. It's not something I'll ever do again."

Alec let himself fall backwards on his bed. "Wonderful," he mumbled. "So I guess it is searching every single one of these hundred of books, then."

"Start with the shelves on the left hand side," Magnus suggested. "The ones on the right _should_ be mostly for potions and therefore useless for our purpose."

"Now _that_ narrows it down," Alec said, rolling his eyes and throwing his arm over his face to cover his eyes. Sometimes he really hated his life. What had he done to deserve this? All he had wanted was some peace and quietness, but no, apparently whatever greater force was out there wasn't having that. Now he had a nosy warlock in a mirror and hours over hours of research ahead of him that probably wouldn't even get them anywhere. There went his hopes of getting rid of Magnus quickly.

Alec had an idea. He plopped himself up on his elbows to look at Magnus, who was still leaning against the frame of the glass and was observing him with his strange, bright eyes. "So, if you really know every book in there," he began slowly, "can you at least make me a list of books I should look for? That would probably be more effective than having me look through every book, randomly looking for something I know basically nothing about."

Magnus nodded. "That's a good idea," he acknowledged. "Also, it would be best if you brought them here for me to see once you've found them. Some of them – no, most of them, actually – are written in languages you won't understand, so you might not even recognise whether the spell described refers to a situation similar to mine or not. If you brought them to me, though, and held them up in front of the mirror, I could see which ones might work or not myself. You'd only have to turn the pages."

"Oh, that's nice. I'm being reduced to a bookrest."

"Stop complaining," Magnus admonished. "I'm minimising your workload here."

Alec shrugged. "You've got a point there. Now," he sat up slowly and searched the room for his shoes. Eventually, he spotted them under his bed. He couldn't remember putting them there, but considering how dead tired he had been yesterday, that didn't come as a surprise. "I suggest that you think up a list of books for me to search while I'm out buying pancakes for Izzy. I don't feel like being decapitated toda-"

He was abruptly interrupted by the sound of the door to his room swinging open and crashing against the wall, making in it shake within its frame. Alec whirled around. Hs sister was standing in the doorway, perfectly dressed with her short, silver-black dress and knee-high boots. On every other person, it would have looked slutty. On Isabelle, it made her look like a combination of Catwoman and Elektra, always ready to kick your sorry ass to the next galaxy if you didn't cooperate. Why she was wearing this on a Saturday morning, he had no idea.

"I heard my name mentioned," she announced majestically.

"Um...yeah," was the intelligent answer Alec managed to produce. He was still too dumbstruck to react in a more appropriate way, like, say, telling her to not bang the doors like that or to knock before entering, which was what he usually would have done.

"There are no pancakes," Izzy stated matter-of-factly.

 _And thus, the reason for her presence was revealed_ , Alec thought wryly. "I was just about to go and get some," he said, slipping into his shoes. "Anything else?"

"Yeah," Iz said, looking around the room with a frown. "A question. Who were you talking to earlier? I heard your voice and thought that Jace must be here, but..." she trailed off.

Alec stopped in his movement. "No one," he mumbled hastily, "I was just talking to myself." As inconspicuously as possible, he threw a glance at the mirror to see if Magnus had disappeared.

He hadn't. He was still there, right in the middle of the mirror, and Izzy was standing right in front of him, looking at him while pulling at her dress without seeing him. Alec swallowed. _I guess that answers the question as to whether everyone can see him or not_ , he thought.

Magnus didn't seem to be even the slightest bit fazed by the fact that Izzy took no notice of him. Instead, he look Alec's sister up and down, nodding approvingly before flashing Alec a quick grin. "Not bad," he declared. "Your sister has got some style."

Isabelle didn't even blink. So she couldn't hear him, either.

Why was it that Alec could see him and she didn't? What was the difference between the two of them? Alec shook his head. He shouldn't worry about these questions now, he wouldn't be able to find an answer to them anyway.

Magnus's teasing voice drifted to his ear through the thick mist of questions slowing down his brain. "You should let her dress you up sometime," he said, smirking. "She might be able to teach you a thing or two about fashion."

Alec glared at him. "No way in hell," he hissed under his breath, momentarily forgetting that Isabelle was still in the room.

"What did you say?" she asked, turning around quickly.

"What? Me? Nothing!" Alec spluttered. "I wasn't saying anything."

Iz gave him a weird look. "I think you might be losing your mind," she remarked. "Jace and I always knew this was going to happen one day. One day your brain would break and melt under the pressure of being used too excessively."

Alec snorted. "Yes, thank you very much." Deeming it better to end this conversation right here and now, he got up and grabbed his jacket. "So, was there anything else you wanted?"

"Yeah. Grab some Starbucks coffee on the way, will you?"

"Sure."

"Hey, wait." Isabelle grabbed his arm as he walked past her, holding him back. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Alec looked at her. Her face didn't give much of her emotions away, but he could see the worry in her eyes. With her high heeled boots, she was nearly as tall as him. "I'm fine," he said.

She smiled faintly, sarcastically. "Liar," she said simply.

"Aren't we all?"

Her smile widened a little bit, and she leaned up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. And then, just like that, she whirled around and strutted out of the room. "Don't forget: a frozen cappuccino with soy milk, caramel flavour and no cream," she called. Behind him, Magnus was laughing quietly.

Alec rolled his eyes and followed her out of the room.


	5. #220 A fate worse than death

When Alec finally returned with pancakes, sandwiches and coffee, Isabelle was already waiting for him in the kitchen. Other than that, the house still seemed to be deserted.

"Where is everyone?" he asked as he put the groceries down on the huge island his sister was seated at.

Isabelle grabbed her coffee and helped herself to the food before answering. "Jace is still sleeping, it seems. Mom and dad left with Max to see some posh comic museum or something. I didn't pay that much attention. Anyway, while you were upstairs yesterday, hiding in your room, Jace and I talked about what to do this weekend. We planned hitting downtown tonight; he already looked up some popular clubs we could go to. Are you coming with us?"

"No thanks," Alec said, wrinkling his nose, and sat down opposite to her. "I have no desire to watch Jace trying to lick the tonsils of the first girl he meets."

The words came out sharper and bitterer than he had intended them to be, but he supposed Isabelle would have picked up on his emotional distress anyway; she was very good at reading him. She always had been. To strangers, it always seemed as if Iz didn't care about anything or anyone, walking through the world with her head held high and looking down on everyone, but in reality she _did_ care, and she was more than just a little perceptive. It was almost impossible to hide something from her, as he had learnt the hard way.

This time was no exception. Isabelle frowned, put down the coffee and fixed her dark eyes on him, scrutinizing his face. "Now this is the type of statement I haven't heard from you for ages," she stated.

Alec wanted to slap himself. He didn't slip up often, but every time he did was once too often for him. Technically, there wasn't anything to be worried about (after all, no one else was around to hear him talking, and this had been the kind of utterance that no one would think twice about upon hearing it, not even Jace, had he been listening), but he still tried to avoid getting himself into situations like this one. Isabelle was the only one who knew about his infatuation with his adopted brother, which he had by now mostly overcome, as he liked to think. Or well, at least he tried, and he had done his best to convince his sister that he was completely over Jace. With that, he had also tried to convince _himself_ that he didn't have any feelings for him anymore; after all, it wasn't like he'd ever stand a chance. Jace was as straight as one could be, and even if he weren't, he would certainly never be interested in Alec. They were brothers, for Christ's sake; not by blood-relation, but they might as well have been. And one just shouldn't feel that way about your brother. Ever. So ever since he had discovered them, Alec had tried to bury these feelings in the darkest corner of his soul. Mostly, that worked pretty well.

But sometimes, especially when Alec saw him with yet another girl clinging to his arm, all the feelings resurfaced along with a wave of jealousy and hurt and despair.

It was one of the things that made Alec feel sick to the core. He'd had a hard enough time coming to terms with the thought that this was not just a phase but that he was indeed homosexual, and this only complicated things further. It would have been easier for him to accept the fact that he was gay if he hadn't had indecent fantasies about his brother and best friend.

"As a matter of fact, I'm not keen on watching _you_ with your tongue down a random guy's throat either," he said in an attempt to save himself. But of course, Isabelle wasn't that easily deceived, although there was quite a lot of truth in this sentence – he had never liked watching her with her casual flings. He totally blamed the older brother instinct for that.

"Is that what's been bothering you?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing's been bothering me," he replied brusquely.

"Bullshit," Izzy said. "First, the yelling and door-banging this morning. Then coffee so strong it could knock out a horse. And then you were talking to yourself, which you never do. Not to mention that you admitted not feeling fine. Furthermore, you've been moody lately. Moodier than usual, that is."

Alec rolled his eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, everyone was moodier than usual lately, especially you. We've been moving from L.A. to New York."

"You couldn't have cared less about moving," Isabelle observed. "You weren't sorry to leave anything behind."

"No, I wasn't," Alec confirmed. "But we were moving, and that did put a lot of strain on my nerves, which is perfectly normal. And I didn't really sleep last night. That's all."

She smirked. "What, did the ghost stories give you shivers so that you were too afraid to sleep?"

"Don't be ridiculous," said Alec, taking another gulp of coffee.

What he thought was: _If only you knew._

Iz tilted her head to the side. She was clearly not buying his indifferent behaviour, but thankfully she didn't pry. All she said was, "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Yeah." Alec nodded. _Sure_. _If I want you to send me directly to the next_ _nuthouse_ _._ He stood up, suddenly wanting to be away from her as soon as possible. "I'll be upstairs, then."

"Think about coming tonight, okay? Please, at least consider it."

"Will do."

The thing was, even if Alec didn't want to, he would probably have to go, just to make sure neither Izzy nor Jace got completely hammered and broke some law (apart from underage drinking, that was) on their way home – if they were even able to remember their way back home in a drunken state, which was highly unlikely. Usually, he wouldn't have minded that much – it _did_ annoy him, having to play their babysitter all the time and trying to ensure they didn't get into any trouble, but they were his siblings and there wasn't much he wouldn't do for them if they only asked nicely enough – but this time was different. After all, usually he only had to deal with them, which was hard enough itself, without having to watch his entire life going bollocks and turning upside down everything he ever believed in. Quite frankly, he wasn't sure whether his nerves would be able to endure the strain of having to accompany them to a party after what had happened (and what might still happen) to him today.

As had been to be expected, Magnus was present when he returned to his room. "I've got a list," he said instead of a greeting. "It's quite long, though. I hope you have a pen and paper ready to hand, because quite frankly, I don't think you will be able to remember all of the titles, especially since some of them are in foreign languages. I have sorted them by importance, though – at least I hope so. The ones most likely to offer a solution should be on the top of the list to make this all as short and painless as possible – theoretically."

Alec just nodded curtly.

Magnus blinked and tilted his head to the side, contemplating. "What's gotten you all riled up again?" he asked. "Did your sister try to behead you after all?"

"No, she didn't. And I'm not riled up. I've just been...thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing. Everything. It's just...I still got so many questions."

"Oh, believe me, there are still a few giant question marks lurking around in my brain as well," Magnus said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Like...?" Alec prompted.

Magnus didn't answer. "Do you have something to take notes or not?"

Alec made a displeased sound, but stalked over to his desk. Maybe the questions could wait a little longer. Maybe he didn't even want to know the answers to some of them. "Shoot ahead."

Immediately, Magnus began to rattle through a rather frighteningly long list of titles and names, at a speed that made Alec's head blur and made it quite hard to scribble down the necessary information in time. It didn't help that, in fact, _most_ of the books appeared to be written in languages he knew nothing about, and it got only worse when he got to the ones who didn't even use the same alphabet and script. At some point, Magnus began to draw glowing signs in the air that Alec would simply try to copy as precisely as possible to be able to identify the books by their cover later, while knowing that this would take him more than just a few hours (or days, or weeks).

When the DIN A-4 sheet of paper was thoroughly covered with notes and titles and names, Magnus finally stopped and took a deep breath, and then, all of a sudden, flashed Alec the widest and most brilliant smile he had ever seen. "Well then, off you go, darling," he announced cheerfully. "Have fun!"

Alec was very tempted to make a very rude gesture at him, but controlled himself. It wasn't even ten in the morning and he already felt as if he had exceeded his usual quota of daily profanities. Despite his proclivity for coarse language when he was upset, he _was_ a generally polite and well-educated boy, and often felt a little guilty when overusing swearwords, even when his younger siblings weren't around to hear him and pick up on it. Not that he could corrupt and spoil them in any way – they were far worse than him when it came to that – but he did like to maintain the "older brother equals role model" image. With a heavy sigh, he turned around and made his way to the hidden library in – or behind – the closet, trying very hard to block out the thoughts of the endless possibilities of jokes Magnus could originate from this situation if he wanted to.

This time, the endless stacks and shelves of books didn't fill him with as much awe as they head before. Right now, they were rather filling him with dread, and not for the first time he wondered juts how long it was going to take to find the one book that would contain the one spell that would finally get Magnus out of the mirror and, most importantly, out of his bedroom.

 _He said the spellbooks were mostly on the left-hand side. The left-hand side it is, then._ Alec heaved another sigh, and set to work.

In the course of the next hours, he managed to go through the grand total of two bookshelves and, oh wonder, located three of the books on the list. After taking a glance at his watch, he tucked them under his arm and exited the library, thinking that he couldn't stay in here much longer; it was nearly lunch time, and that meant the probability of one of his siblings barging into his room to drag him into the kitchen was rising dramatically, and he supposed he'd have a rather big problem explaining to them where he had vanished to all of a sudden.

For once, he was no greeted by the already disconcertingly familiar sight of a tan, angular face and glistening green-golden eyes behind the glass. "Magnus?" he called out tentatively, after checking that neither Jace nor Izzy were present. "Are you there?"

A blink of an eye later, Magnus was there, sliding into the view from the side. "Found something?" Understandably, he sounded overly excited, like a kid who was about to open the birthday presents.

"Only three so far, but they were pretty much on top of the list, so they might be useful." Alec shrugged, and then frowned. "I would have searched for more, but I don't want to have to explain to my siblings what I was doing in the closet in case they storm in unannounced – which they always do, in case you were wondering," he added as he set down the list and stepped in front of the mirror with the first book.

Magnus seemed to bite back a snicker. "Right. Because standing in front of the mirror with a book flipped open and facing towards that mirror is any less weird."

"Will they even be able to see the book?" Alec questioned, pensive. "I mean, I can't tell with Jace, but Iz is obviously not able to see you, so maybe she wouldn't be able to see any things that have to do with magic. And why is it that I can see you, anyway? Why can I see you when the others cannot?"

Magnus raised his hand in a gesture of discomfiture. "I have absolutely no idea," he admitted.

"But if anyone should be able to have an explanation, it's you!"

"I am also the one who, according to you, should know how to get myself out, remember?" Magnus rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I'm afraid it's the truth. I don't know. At first I thought it had something to do whether the people entering the room had the Sight or not –"

"The Sight?" Alec interrupted him, echoing his words, staring at him incredulously once again. That was becoming quite a frequent thing to do for him at an alarmingly fast pace. Usually, Alec was what one would consider a higher-than-average intelligent boy who was quick to catch up on things and find logical explanations and solution to problems. But this, this went against everything he had ever learnt or believed in, and he still couldn't really wrap his head around it. The way he seemed to parrot everything Magnus said made him feel as if his IQ had spontaneously dropped ten points, which was very irritating.

Magnus's right eye twitched ever so slightly, the only indicator that he was annoyed by the interruption. Alec could only guess that he didn't like it when someone stole his show. "The Sight," he reconfirmed. "It's a gift not many mundanes have. It means that you can see the hidden world: the warlocks, the faeries, the werewolves, vampires...everything that's usually glamoured and thus hidden from human eyes."

Alec nearly choked on his own spit. "What?" he spluttered. "There's more of you out there?"

Magnus cocked a delicate eyebrow. "No, I'm just kidding, I'm the last of the time lords. Of course there are more of us out there, and more than just warlocks. I told you before, you are just too blind to see it. Now, to finish the sentence I started earlier – I still believe that you must at least have a certain...aptness or disposition to the Sight in order to be able to see me, but you are the best example that it doesn't have to be fully formed, because you clearly had no idea we existed before. Aside from that, I can't tell you much, though, and it's all just theories I cannot confirm."

"But my sister is related to me. _By blood._ Wouldn't that mean she should have that disposition as well?"

Magnus shrugged. "Beats me. Now would you terribly mind if we started? I'm pretty anxious about getting the hell out of here."

"One more question," Alec said, absentmindedly flipping through the book and caressing the edges of the worn out paper. "Why can I not _always_ see you? Where do you go to when you're not in the mirror? Can you move from one mirror in the house to another, or what do you do?"

"What, like the pictures in Harry Potter?" Magnus snorted.

"How can you possibly know about Harry Potter when you've been in there for fifteen years? You've been lying, right?"

"Actually, no," Magnus replied with a slightly haughty air. "But some years ago, there was this girl in this room...she couldn't see me, and neither could her parents, so she had no qualms about being in here. Still, they didn't stay long...anyway, she used to read the books and listen to the audio books. I liked listening to them, they were good, and it bothered me terribly that I only got to book four. One of the first things I will do once I'm out will definitely be to catch up on my reading. But first of all, I will eat something, and possibly get drunk. God, I miss eating."

Alec blinked. "You don't have any food in there?"

"Obviously not, and it seems I need neither food nor water to survive in here, which comes in handy, I must say. Having to worry about digestion and other body functions would have been extremely inconvenient." He wrinkled his nose. "No, there's nothing here but the mirror and the room behind it, so I suppose I'm not technically _in_ the mirror; I'm behind it. More or less. Maybe. It's a lot like a prison cell: just an empty room with stone walls and no windows at all, about half of the size of your room. Nothing fancy, but at least I can step out of sight for a while to have some privacy even when people who can see me are in the room."

Magnus shrugged, trying to act indifferent, but there was a tension to his jaw line that made it obvious to Alec how much he loathed everything about this. He found himself at a loss of words, again. "Oh," he said, lamely. "I'm...really sorry." The words seemed insufficient, but he meant it, and it was the best he could come up with to show his sympathy. "It must be horrible."

"You have no idea," Magnus murmured.

"You-" Alec cleared his throat. "All these years," he said quietly. "You must have been very lonely."

Magnus smiled bitterly. "Loneliness is something I am used to, Alec."

Suddenly, he didn't look like a boy Alec's age anymore. Something was clouding his eyes that Alec could only describe as the weight of too many years and experiences. Gone was the cheerful, annoying nettler, replaced by someone who just looked very serious, and very, very tired. Alec felt his heart clench painfully. As much as he had wanted to smack Magnus before, seeing him like that was everything but pleasant. He swallowed, hard.

"Well, now I'm here," he said in an attempt to lighten the mood. "And while I will probably go crazy if I don't get my alone time and you're constantly around...well, I just want to say...I'm here. You're not alone now." He smiled weakly. "And if this takes longer than anticipated, I can read Harry Potter to you, if you want, and make up for being an asshole before. I mean, I still kind of hate this and want you out as soon as possible, but it's the least I can do to try and get along with you, right?"

This time, Magnus's smile was surprised, but genuine. "Thank you."

Alec smiled too, briefly, and took a deep breath as he opened the book to show Magnus the first spell. "Okay, let's do this."


	6. #338 Growing fonder

„No. No. No. No. N- wait, let me…no. No. No. Aaand – no."

Groaning, Alec slammed the book shut and tossed it on the bed. A moment later, he let himself fall backwards on the soft mattress as well. "Well," he said, staring up at the ceiling, "that didn't go quite as well as I had hoped."

"Tell me about it."

Alec snorted. "You aren't the one who spent three hours searching the chaos in the library for spellbooks only to have someone tell you after ten minutes of flicking through the pages that there was nothing useful to be found and you had to start over again."

"You aren't the one who has been cursed into a mirror over a decade ago, so stop complaining," Magnus replied, sounding more exhausted than irritated. Although it was clearly an attempt to make a joke, the statement made Alec feel guilty immediately. Who was he to complain, having only spend a tiny fracture of his life with this annoying but not overly demanding work? "It would have been a small miracle if we had found something in the first three books anyway."

"I suppose." Alec rolled over, piling up the books. He stared at them thoughtfully, tracing the edges of the leather binding with his fingertips. "What do we do if we don't find anything in the other books, either?"

"Now that is something I don't even want to think about," Magnus said, rubbing his temples. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Being a pessimist. You're pulling me down from my temporary emotional high, which is, for once, not drug- or sugar-induced, nor generated by sexual activity."

"You-" Alec interrupted himself, coughed, and shook his head. "Forget it. I don't want to know."

"Oh dear." Magnus looked amused. "Do you always blush when something not PG-13 rated is mentioned?"

"Shut up," Alec murmured irritably, indeed feeling the heat rising up into his cheeks, colouring them bright red.

"No need to be embarrassed, darling. I find it quite adorable."

"Magnus," Alec bit out, "what did I say about pet names?"

"Oops. Sorry. Doesn't change the fact that it is adorable, though."

Alec sat up abruptly, his blue eyes shining with anger. "Stop making fun out of me!"

Magnus blinked. "I'm not making fun out of you," he disagreed calmly.

"You're _flirting_ with me!"

"Exactly," Magnus grinned from one ear to another. "Which is definitely not the same thing as making fun out of someone, don't you agree?"

Alec grit his teeth so hard his jaw was beginning to hurt. "Of course not," he bit out, his voice bitter and sharp like steel. "I'm sure this has nothing to do with your stupid notion that I am gay _at all_."

Magnus blinked slowly, his grin dissipating and gradually turning into a deep frown. "Okay, Alec, let me make one thing very clear," he said in the end. "Despite of what my general reputation – or should I say _notoriety_ – may suggest, and although I _do_ believe that we have a severe case of denial here, I don't hit on people to make fun out of them. I don't hit on anyone unless I mean it."

Alec, who had just been in the process of unclenching his jaw (and his fists, while he was at it, too, because his fingernails had already begun to form deep marks on his skin), managed to choke on his own saliva. Magnus watched him with an admixture of faint amusement and worry while he coughed and gasped for breath. "You – you aren't – this is not happening," he spluttered as soon as he had enough air in his lungs to utter at least a few single words.

"Why would it not be happening?" Magnus asked. "Have you _looked_ into a mirror, Alec? And I mean not this mirror. I am talking about a mirror where you can actually see _yourself_."

Alec chose to ignore this comment completely. "That's not what I meant," he said, although he inwardly had to admit that this was exactly what he had meant. No one had ever hit on him before, and Alec was not sad about this. Mostly, at least. He preferred to stay unnoticed most of the time. People had told him before that he was handsome (although not exactly frequently, probably because of his lack of fashion sense and messy hair hiding most of his face), which might be true because he and Isabelle looked pretty alike and his sister was truly beautiful, but Alec had never been the kind of person to flaunt his looks. He didn't want the attention. He had never wanted it. "I meant _this_ is not happening. Ever. No flirting," he stated resolutely.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like it."

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" Magnus asked steadily.

Alec swallowed. "Yes," he answered truthfully. "No flirting."

Magnus seemed to contemplate that for a moment. "I can't promise that," he said finally.

Alec narrowed his eyes, glaring at the warlock. "You want me to get you out of the mirror," he reminded him coldly.

" _You_ want you to get me out, too," the warlock commented, the corner of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly. "I've already agreed to not talking about a certain topic, refraining from calling you by endearments and averting my gaze whenever you are not fully clothed. I'm not letting you stipulate what I am allowed to say and what not. I _might_ be nice and keep the flirting to a minimum as to not distract you from your task so much, but I'm not promising anything."

"I hate you," Alec determined.

"No, you don't."

"Fine, I don't. I don't know you well enough to hate you," Alec amended. "But if you go on like that, you're on the best way to make me hate you."

Magnus just smiled. "We'll see about that."

"You are very full of yourself, do you know that?"

"So I have been told." Magnus shrugged, still smirking. "I'm fabulous. I can't help it."

Alec raised his eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure that there are people out there who beg to differ. Like the warlock who cursed you into that mirror. "

"Not everyone can deal with so much magnificence," the boy in the mirror replied. There was an edge to his voice that Alec couldn't quite identify, well-masked by his self-confidence and pretended loftiness, and Alec bit his lip, thinking that maybe he'd gone too far again. It was strange, what this boy did to him: he annoyed the hell out of him already, making him want to lash out at him, but at the same time, Alec felt like a complete asshole whenever some words that might hurt Magnus slipped out of his mouth before he could hold his tongue. Granted, Alec was the kind of person who almost always felt bad for insulting or hurting other people – unless, of course, they were mistreating his family, then he couldn't care less about hurting anyone – but somehow this effect was intensified with Magnus.

It reminded him a bit of the times when Jace had first come to live with them, right after his father had died and he had become an orphan. When he had finally begun to talk after three weeks of not uttering a single word, it hadn't taken long until Alec had had to fight off the urge to punch him straight in the face. As a matter of fact, there _had_ been quite a few occasions where the two of them had actually gotten into a fist fight with each other, although it had always been very clear that neither wanted to seriously harm each other. They had grown very close in a ridiculously short amount of time, and while they did not spend every waking hour in the other's company any more like they had used to when they were younger, they were still a good team. Now, they were able to throw insults at each other without thinking about it, knowing that it would be forgiven a few minutes later because neither actually meant what he said. But back then, in the first few weeks of knowing each other, when they had only just reached double digits, Alec had never really had the heart to tell Jace exactly what he thought he was (an arrogant, air-headed git). Because that was exactly what Jace had been, at least occasionally. Not that it had mattered – Alec had loved him even then, before he had started to develop a huge crush on him; that, he mused, had probably been one of the reasons for not telling him off so often, not until he had known that Jace wasn't really hurting anymore.

Maybe the situation was similar with Magnus. The warlock putting up a good act, for the most part, but Alec could tell that he was anything but alright. Of course he wasn't. Who'd be alright after spending a decade and a half alone in a tiny little room with no light and no way out? Alec knew Magnus wouldn't want his pity – he was too proud for that – but the least he could do was not rub salt into his wounds and try to be nice, even if it was hard at times.

Also, it wasn't really Magnus's fault he wasn't comfortable with anyone flirting with him. The problem wasn't that he hated it; he just hated that he had no idea at all how to react to this. He didn't even have an idea how to act properly when a girl in school hit on him, so how was he supposed to be prepared for a male warlock who was practically sharing his room to make a move on him? Frankly, it was all a bit too much right now, and he didn't know how to deal with it, and that was making him nervous.

It didn't help that he had to admit that Magnus was highly attractive, either.

But Magnus was also a warlock, stuck in a mirror and at least ten to fifteen times his age, and there was no way he would engage in this. Ever. And of course Magnus was flirting with him; Alec was the next best thing, right? He'd barely had the chance to communicate with anyone in the last fifteen years, and now Alec was there, the only one who was able to see him. Once he was out of that mirror and had other options, he would forget about Alec immediately.

The notion shouldn't have left such a bitter aftertaste on his tongue.

"I'll be off then," Alec muttered, turning on his heel to leave the room. "See you later."

 

* * *

 

The room lay in perfect darkness when he came back. The floorboards creaked under his feet as he moved towards his bed as quietly as possible, not turning on the lights. He didn't want to alarm Magnus and be forced to have a lengthy discussion with him again (because he surely would; he never seemed to be able to _not_ have lengthy conversations with him), because quite frankly, all he wanted right now was some peace and quiet, nothing else. And _sleep._ He needed sleep.

"So that's what you call 'later', huh? I suppose the term is appropriate."

Alec jerked violently and, losing focus on his mission to get to his bed without running into anything, promptly stubbed his toe on the bedpost. " _Ow_ ," he hissed and turned around to glare at Magnus. "You've _got_ to stop doing this!"

"What?"

"Scaring me like that. Stop it."

"Well, I can't exactly announce my presence any more subtly, can I?" Magnus asked dryly. "Actually, I was worried about you. You didn't come back."

"What, did you think I abandoned you?" Alec replied, flopping onto the mattress and massaging his foot.

Magnus shrugged. "Maybe."

"That's really stupid," Alec determined.

"Well, how am I supposed to know you'll come back when you run off? After all, you planned to go downstairs for lunch, and now look at you, stumbling into your room in the middle of the night."

Alec frowned. "Okay, A: you're not my mother, and don't need to know where I am and what I am doing every single hour of the day. B: Sorry. I meant to come back, but Izzy and Jace kind of...abducted me. And then they dragged me to a party." He grimaced.

Magnus cocked an eyebrow. "So bad?"

Alec grunted non-committally and bent down to untie his boots.

To be honest, it had been one of the more endurable parties. The music had been more or less acceptable, his siblings had been so nice as to not get completely wasted and they hadn't stayed out long. On the downside, the only reason why Jace was still mostly sober was because he had spent about two thirds of the evening in a lip-lock with a small redhead, which was surprising, because she wasn't really his type. Since Isabelle had taken off to the dance floor, Alec had been left to keep the girl's best friend company. Simon was nice enough, he guessed, but the situation had been awkward nonetheless; neither had really known what to talk about, and so both of them had mostly kept tabs on Izzy and Jace and Clary, watching the couple with similar moroseness, and Izzy, in Alec's case, with a disapproving glare whenever a male specimen came too close, in Simon's case with unhidden adoration.

Alec wasn't what you could call an expert in human emotions, but it was easy to see that they were in the same boat. Simon very obviously had a crush on Clary that he was trying to forget about, just like Alec was trying to forget about Jace. The boy was also very obviously enthralled by Isabelle, which was not unexpected; she had this effect on people. Alec pitied him a bit. He seemed to be a nice, intelligent and funny guy. The problem was that Iz never dated normal, nice guys. He didn't stand a chance.

"Could you, you know, turn around or something while I change?"

Magnus rolled his eyes and huffed, but did as he was told.

"And no peeking!"

Magnus muttered something under his breath that sounded like "Paranoid."

Alec chose to ignore the comment. Instead, he just pointedly said "Good night," quickly stripped down to his boxers, threw his clothes over the desk chair and stepped into his pyjamas, all the while checking whether Magnus kept his back turned (thankfully, he did). As Alec pulled away the covers and climbed into bed, he wondered whether it would always be like this from now on - whether Magnus would be the first thing to see when he woke up in the morning and the last before he went to bed. He wasn't so sure how he felt about that, but then, he pretty much wasn't sure how he felt about anything anymore.

Slowly, Alec closed his eyes. He thought he heard Magnus say something and then laugh quietly as he drifted to sleep, but maybe that was just a figment of his imagination, just a part of his dreams which were filled with pictures of strange worlds where letters emerged from books and floated in the air around him, where he could hear his siblings calling for him from far away while he was running away, farther and farther, alongside a tall boy with cat-like eyes who grabbed his hand and never let it go.

 

* * *

 

Over the course of the next days, Alec and Magnus automatically fell into some sort of pattern, that quickly became a very familiar and strangely comfortable routine of their daily life. It wasn't something they had agreed on earlier, it just happened, without them even stopping to think about it twice.

Alec would get up early, like he always did, and hop into the bathroom. When he returned, Magnus was usually already there, waiting for him – Alec could see a shadow in the mirror, nothing more, while Magnus was trying to give him the space he needed while getting dressed. He believed the warlock when he said he wasn't watching, but he still retreated into a corner of the room that could not be seen from where Magnus was standing, just to make sure. Once he had finished, Magnus stepped into full view (somehow, he always seemed to know when it was safe to come forward, even when he had no way of checking or even tracking the time), complaining about how ungodly the hours where to which Alec would be up and about, a comment which Alec would shoot down by telling him it was his own bloody fault if he decided to get up, too, because it wasn't like anyone was forcing him to not sleep in.

After a few minutes of this more or less playful banter, Alec would go and have breakfast, spend a little time with his siblings and then come upstairs again to spend several hours in the library, searching every shelf for the books on Magnus's list. He was beginning to become quite good at it, too, slowly being able to make out a certain order in the infinite chaos that was Magnus's non-existent classification system. Or maybe he was just getting better at spotting and identifying the strange signs and scripts that were the titles of most books. Sometimes, when he found one of the rare copies which were penned in English, he would sit down and flip through the pages, trying to make sense of the strange spells and potions and essays on magic and laws and creatures he had never heard of before.

Whenever he was in that library, he felt as if he could actually step into Magnus's life, and the books were all the memories which he refused to share, written down and safely locked away. Alec just wished he would understand more of them – more of _him_. He wanted to find out who Magnus really was, but it was turning out to be a task more difficult than finding a needle in a haystack. Despite all the hours they spent talking (mostly about bagatelles, nothing of importance), there were two topic that they carefully avoided. One was Alec's sexuality. The second was Magnus's past.

Alec had realised it was no good asking him questions about that on the second day. They had been talking about Alec's family, and when Alec had asked Magnus about his parents, the warlock's face had closed off immediately, his eyes turning cold and distant, just like they did whenever the day he was cursed into the mirror was mentioned. Alec had stopped asking after that. Occasionally, Magnus would tell him an exciting or amusing anecdote of things that had happened to him, people he had met, but these moments were rare and fleeting and always over far too soon.

It wasn't really fair, Alec though, how Magnus could read him so easily while he still knew next to nothing about the warlock.

The afternoons were usually spent with him showing Magnus the books. There had been a couple of spells the warlock had deemed worth trying, but so far, none of them had worked, and they were already half way through the list.

It was easy to tell that Magnus was growing increasingly frustrated.

So was Alec, despite the fact that he had somewhat grown accustomed to having Magnus around. It wasn't so bad, half of the time.

Unfortunately, it wasn't all that good, either.


	7. #295 Edge of sanity

While it had been strangely easy to get used to Magnus's presence, Alec had to admit that there were quite a few downsides to it. There was, for example, the lack of privacy. No matter how hard Magnus tried to give him his space, in the back of his mind there was always a little voice nagging him, telling him that he could never tell for sure whether the warlock was watching him or not. And, of course, the knowledge that Magnus could hear pretty much every word spoken, every sound made in his room. Needless to say, this constrained a teenage boy to a point where it got incredibly annoying and frustrating.

Even worse was the circumstance that his family seemed to begin to think that Alec was losing his mind.

He couldn't blame them.

There had been more than one occasion where one of his siblings had entered his room unheralded while he was talking to Magnus. He had grown used to speaking in a low voice to at least prevent them from hearing him speak when they were passing by his door, but it didn't help that they found him apparently muttering to himself, and, sometimes, trying to quickly hide a book he was holding in his hands. Jace had first chalked that one up to him reading something indecent – aka _porn_ – and had teased him incessantly about it, but now it seemed that both his and Isabelle's default expression whenever they were talking to or about Alec was a deep frown. Their worry was nearly tangible, and regardless of how much Alex insisted there was nothing going on and everything was fine, he had a feeling this was only making things worse.

And then, of course, there was the matter of the mirror itself.

To be honest he had anticipated – and, for the first time, hoped – that his parents had forgotten about it. This was what usually happened when he asked them about something that they could not solve by merely pressing some dollar notes in his hand or advising Hodge to see to it. He had gotten so used to it that it didn't even really bother him anymore (mostly, at least), because as far as he could remember, it had pretty much always been like that. His parents were and had always been workaholics, and it was unlikely that would ever change. The siblings didn't get to see them too often; they travelled a lot, and spent way too many hours of the day in their respective offices. Alec knew they cared, though it might not have seemed like it, but especially in times of crisis, like now, they just had other things on their mind. They knew their kids were well looked-after by Hodge, they made sure to always be up-to-date if there were some major fallouts in school, and despite everything they tried to spend as much time with their children as possible. Yet, they would have been disposed to ignoring a request like the one Alec had made, especially since it had been pretty much petty and childish anyway and Alec had never raised the point again.

Because his luck seemed to have deserted him ever since they had moved to the city that never slept, however, it happened that when they were having dinner together about two weeks and a half after moving in Maryse looked at her oldest son and said, "By the way, Alexander, I have arranged for the bulk waste to be picked up tomorrow. Have Jace help you depositing the mirror outside."

A wave of cold dread washed over Alec, and the spoon he was holding slipped through his fingers. It clattered to the ground, the noise reverberating loudly through the room. "What?" he blurted, his voice taking a shortcut to the higher and hardly-ever used registers , and quickly dived under the table to retrieve his cutlery and regain control over his expression and vocal chords.

When he came up again about half a minute later, everyone was looking at him except for Max, whose nose was, as always, buried in one of his comic books.

"The mirror. You wanted to dispose of it, if I remember correctly," Maryse stated, completely unperturbed. Unlike his siblings, his parents had not yet noticed any change about his behaviour, and as it seemed Iz and Jace hadn't told them about their worries either.

"Oh. Oh, yeah, that," said Alec, doing his best to portray an adequately surprised but enlightened face while remaining nonchalant and trying to hide his inner panic. He wasn't faring too well, he feared, judging from the glance his siblings exchanged. He scratched his head. "Actually...I don't mind it that much anymore."

This statement earned him baffled looks from everyone. He quickly cast his eyes down at his plate and fidgeted uncomfortably. Oh yeah. _Smooth_.

"Dear Lord," Jace said, "Alec has begun to understand that you can actually put a mirror to good use? I think the world might have just stopped turning."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up," he said. "I'm not turning into a vain narcissist like you. It just...I don't know. It kind of belongs into the room. It fits with the rest of the furniture...I suppose."

Izzy's eyebrows rose higher and higher.

"Well," he amended, "I guess it _is_ kind of useful, too."

For his parents, the answer seemed to be good enough. "Very well," his father said, shrugging, already having lost all interest in the matter. "Keep it, then, if you will."

Alec's shoulders sagged with relief.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could still see Isabelle watching him intently, as if staring at him could make her see right into his soul.

He took two stairs at a time when getting back upstairs later, hoping to escape her clutches, which was, of course, in vain. He should have figured. His sister caught him by his arm before he could enter his room and shut the door behind him to lock the rest of the family out. Her grip was surprisingly strong for a slender girl like her, but then again, Isabelle had never been a fragile person.

"Alec," she said, "I have to talk to you."

Trust her to not even ask whether he had time. This, too, was very much like his sister. Sighing inwardly, he nodded and gestured towards his room. "Come in."

She did as she was told, stepping into the room, kneading her hands. Now _this_ was _not_ like Isabelle. If he hadn't already known what to expect, this would have made it perfectly clear. Wonderful. Exactly what he needed right now.

Or, you know, not.

"Alec," she began slowly, "will you please just tell me what's going on?" He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn't give him a chance to reply. "I know you're probably just going to say it's nothing, like you always do, but we both know that's not true. You are not behaving like yourself, Alec, don't even try to deny it! You spend hours here in your room, and I know that's nothing unusual, but in the time since we got here you haven't touched a single book when you would usually read at least four or five in that time. You have these...these strange mood swings and you talk to yourself and – and I'm worried about you and I don't know what to do, because you just won't tell me what's wrong!"

He swallowed. "Izzy-"

"Don't _'Izzy'_ me, Alexander Lightwood, and don't you dare to lie to me!" she threatened.

"How could I when you're not even letting me finish my sentence?" he asked, and, before she could speak out again, went on, "Look, Iz, there's noth- well, I can't say there's nothing going on, to be honest," he corrected himself quickly upon seeing her glare, "but I can assure you that I am absolutely fine. There is nothing wrong with me, I swear. There's just...something going on and-"

"What is it?" she interrupted him.

Alec inhaled deeply. "I can't tell you."

The hurt look on her face made him feel as if someone had just punched him in the gut. "You can tell me anything, Alec."

"I know," he said quietly. "I know, Izzy, but maybe it's just not my story to tell." He bit his lip. "Would it reassure you if I told you I haven't been talking to myself?" he asked tentatively.

She blinked, and then narrowed her eyes. "Who have you been talking to, then?"

"It's not someone you know."

"Like...you've been calling someone?"

It was clear she didn't really believe that; Isabelle was a smart girl, and not likely to believe every lie you fed her, especially when it didn't really explain anything. This time, though, she seemed to be desperate to find any reason to explain her brother's rare behaviour with something at least faintly logical, so he decided to just go with it and smiled. "Yes, something like that." Alec could see that she was still struggling with herself, wondering whether she should just let it go or not, so he grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him. "Izzy, do you trust me?"

"Yes," she replied, without a moment of hesitation. "Of course I do."

"Good. Because you have to trust me on this, okay? I can't tell you anything else now, but I would if I could. If I ever can, I will. But for now, you just _have_ to trust me."

She hesitated for another moment and then nodded. "Okay," she murmured. "Okay."

Alec exhaled. "Thanks, Iz."

She crooked a weak smile and walked towards the door. Before opening it, she turned around once more. "Just tell me one thing," she said. "Do you like this person?"

Alec didn't have to think about that one. "Yes," he answered honestly. He didn't care if Magnus could hear him or not; he surely could, even though Alec had not yet been able to detect a single movement or flash of colour in the mirror since they had entered the room. It was nothing but the truth. He _had_ grown to like Magnus, irritating as he was, and there was no reason to keep it a secret.

Isabelle nodded again. "Is he worth it?"

He contemplated that for a moment, not even surprised by the fact that she automatically assumed that this was about a boy. "I don't know," he admitted at last. "But I hope so."

She smiled, then, and left.

The door clicked shut behind her, and as soon as the sound of her soft footsteps on the cold stones had died out, Magnus predictably appeared, leaning against the frame of the mirror in what Alec secretly liked to call his usual nonchalant I-am-superior-to-you-pose. "Nice save," he commented in a voice that made it impossible for Alec to discern whether he was serious or not. It was a problem he often faced when talking to Magnus; the warlock was almost impossible to figure out.

In the end, Alec determined that he was being sarcastic, so he decided to just raise his eyebrows and throw him a glance that hopefully said "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit" clearly enough.

"Maybe you should tell her."

Alec nearly laughed out loud. "Yeah, right," he snorted. "Because telling me I'm conversing with an invisible warlock in my mirror is going to convince her that I am not a total nutjob."

"I don't know." Magnus shrugged. "Theoretically, since she is your sister, she should have the same genetic qualifications that should enable her to be able to see me."

"But she doesn't see you," Alec pointed out. "And I know you talked about the Sight, but I still haven't seen any other magical or supernatural creatures apart from you."

Magnus huffed. "That's because you're not looking."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not." Magnus straightened and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes that shone with annoyance. "I told you before, you mundanes only see what you want to see. You are no exception."

Alec snorted. "I didn't choose to see _you_."

"Which is why I am still amazed you do. I mean it, though. Go to the window and take a look outside. _Really look_."

Alec wasn't very convinced, but did as he was told. "And what exactly am I supposed to see?" he asked dryly.

Magnus closed his eyes and sighed. "There is a family of fairies playing in the bushes below the window," he said quietly. "I can hear them. They are making a lot of noise, flitting through the bushed and rustling the leaves, and laughing and singing. Just _look."_

Alec looked.

He didn't see anything.

He was just about to turn away when he thought he was a movement in the corner of his eye, nothing more but a flash of colour, much like it had been when he had gotten his first glimpse on Magnus, so he narrowed his eyes and stared down again. A few heartbeats later, he saw it again, and this time he could have sworn he heard the ghost of laughter, too. _Come on, fairies,_ he thought, _where are you? I want to see you._

He blinked, and when he opened his eyes again, they were there. At least a dozen of them were whizzing back and forth, small, winged creatures that were not much bigger than butterflies and could have been easily mistaken for those, leaving trails of splashing colours behind, their shrill laughter filling his ears to a point where it almost hurt. One of them, realising that Alec was watching them, flew up and banged against the window, making it clink. Alec flinched and took a step back, and the faerie, apparently delighted to have scared off her opponent, and nose-dived back into the bushes.

Alec stared some more. Behind him, Magnus was shifting in the mirror. "If you say 'I told you so' I will kill you," he warned.

Magnus was grinning at him when he turned around and pretended to zip his mouth shut.

"Seriously, though, how could I not see them before?"

The warlock shrugged. "It takes a while to get used to seeing through the glamour," he explained. "It will probably still cost you some effort, but it will only get easier from now on. Once you know what you are looking for, it's easy to tell whether something – or someone – is glamoured, too."

"This," Alec breathed, "is amazing. But I think I'd still rather not take the risk of trying to tell Iz."

"If we're lucky and you get me out soon there'll be no need for this anyway."

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that," Alec said, slightly awkwardly. "I think we might have to consider the eventuality of me not being able to get you out with the method we've been using. We've been going at this for nearly three weeks now and we've looked through almost all of the books on the list. You've tried at least fifty or sixty different spells and none of them worked." He sighed. "I just don't think I can really help you with this anymore."

"We can always try the rest of the books."

"You know just as well as I do that this won't change anything."

Magnus narrowed his eyes at him. "Do you intend to leave me high and dry, then? Just ignore me and leave me in here to rot?"

"What?" Alec spluttered. "No. No! I just think we should try...a different approach."

Magnus just cocked an eyebrow questioningly, clearly not too enthusiastic about hear his idea.

Alec rubbed his temple and tried to find the right words to explain. "Maybe this is just not working because you're trying to break the spell from the inside. Maybe it has to be undone from the outside. So...I've been thinking, if there are other warlocks out there, like you said, why don't I go and try to find one who is willing to help us?"

Magnus snorted. His face was nearly hidden by the shadows slowly growing darker and larger as the sun began to set, but even so Alec could tell he did not look happy. "Good luck with that."

"Oh, come on. Surely you have some warlock friends who can get you out," Alec said.

Magus emitted a sound that was somewhere between a sharp laughter and a strangled gurgle. "Surely. That's why I am still here, because they were all so concerned and eager to find me when I vanished from the face of the earth so suddenly and unexpectedly." His voice was bitterer than Alec had ever heard it.

"Oh." Alec was at a loss of words. He hadn't thought about it in that way before. Now that Magnus had said it, he wondered why it had never occurred to him before. A man like him, who knew so many powerful people, should not have been abandoned for fifteen years. Why had none of his friends come to look for him? Why had they not searched him? For them it certainly would have been easy to see him in the mirror, and between them, they should have been able to find a way to rescue him. "I don't believe there is no one who cares about you," he said finally.

"Yeah," Magnus replied darkly. "Before, I wouldn't have thought that either."

A familiar, tight know was forming in Alec's stomach, like it often did when he was in Magnus's presence. He wondered how he managed to pull through all that, to survive all the pain and disappointment he had experienced so far. "I will find someone," he promised before he could even stop to think about what he was saying. "Tell me the name of your closest friends and I swear I will find them."

"How?" Magnus asked. "They're not in the phone book, you know. They could be anywhere in the world. Heck, they could even be dead for all I know."

"It's worth a try," Alec insisted. "Where can I find them, if they're still here?"

Magnus shook his head. "You'd have to find a Downworlder willing to give you that information, and for that, you'd probably have to dive into the New York club underground scene, clubs that both Mundanes and Downworlders use and even then they're not likely to tell you. This is dangerous, Alexander, and I won't let you-"

"Don't be ridiculous," Alec interrupted him. "I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

Magnus hesitated, but he was clearly contemplating it.

"If it eases your mind, I won't go alone. I'll take Jace and Izzy. Of course, they're more likely to get me into more trouble, but they are pretty good at kicking some ass."

Magnus's lips twitched upwards. "I'm inclined to believe that. Okay. If it still exists, try the _Pandemonium_. That should be the safest and most frequently used club. Ask for Tessa Gray or Ragnor Fell."

Alec nodded. "Hold on a second," he said, and exited the room. The sound of his siblings' voices drifted towards him from downstairs, so he quickly went down to join them. "Hey," he said once he'd reached them. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

Jace blinked and tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Correct me if I'm mistaken but that almost sounds as if you are about to ask us out."

"No shit, Sherlock." Alec rolled his eyes. "As a matter of fact, I do."

Jace's eyebrows shot up and disappeared under his hairline.

"I've just thought...I haven't really been there for you these past days and...I wanted to make it up to you. So I thought I could be brave and handle another night roaming the clubs of New York City."

"Are you sure?" Jace asked disbelievingly.

"I wouldn't propose it if I weren't," Alec pointed out matter-of-factly. "I know you'd never let me talk myself out of that again once you're onto it. So yes, as much as it pains me to admit it, I do mean it. I will terribly regret it in the morning, but yes, I mean it."

"Awesome, man!" Jace exclaimed, grinning brightly, and clapped him on the shoulder. As always, he was for more willing to believe Alec's story than Izzy was – or maybe he just knew that if something serious was going on, Alec would come around and tell him eventually. He'd always been the one to give him more space, intuitively sensing when it was better to leave his older brother alone. "I'm calling Clary."

Alec managed to keep the contortion of his facial muscles to a minimum. "Alright," he allowed. "But tell her I won't be held responsible for her or Simon's actions."

"Who said Simon was coming?" Isabelle asked.

Alec gave her a pointed look, and he could have sworn that, for a moment, she almost looked as if she was at the verge of blushing, but she schooled her expression quickly. "Do I get to dress you up?"

"Hell, no!"

"What a shame," she lamented. "And here I thought your temporary state of beginning craziness would have some positive effects."

"Iz?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

She just laughed and sashayed away to hog the bathroom.


	8. #33 Desperate plea

A quick search on the internet had provided Alec with the information he had needed on the Pandemonium. Not that he had been able to find out much – there was no official website or anything, but the club was still listed in the Yellow Pages, along with the address and the note that it would remain closed on Mondays. Truth be told, Alec had no idea when clubs like this would open on a Friday night, but he decided they should just take the chance and pass by it to see whether they could get in or not.

So far, so good.

Now he only had to think of a way of telling his siblings he wanted to go that particular club without making it look suspicious.

Yeah, fat chance of that working out. They wouldn't expect him to even know the name of a single club in all of New York, and they would definitely wonder not only how he knew about the Pandemonium but also why he wanted to go there.

For once, though, life had apparently resolved to not make things even more complicated for once. He had just come up with a not-quite-so-shitty excuse when he heard Clary and Simon talking downstairs and went to join them.

"I didn't know you lived here!" Clary exclaimed, sounding excited.

Isabelle frowned. "Why? Have you been here before?"

"Yeah," Clary said. "When my mum and Luke finally hooked up, they considered moving and had a look at the house. I wish we would've moved in here, but that was years ago. I was only ten, but I still remember it. So," she continued, tilting her head to the side, "who got the haunted room?"

Jace laughed and wound his arm around her hip, drawing her close. "Oh, so you heard that story, too?"

"Naturally."

"Alec does and I must say, I have a feeling it is getting to him.. He hasn't complained about spotting any ghosts spooking around, though, so it might just be Izzy's cooking that's made him behave weirdly."

She turned to face Alec, looking genuinely curious. "Haven't you?" she asked.

"Don't be ridiculous," Alec said, trying to look as aloof as possible. "There is nothing in the room."

Clary smiled, small and secretive and he could swear that she knew. "Well, of course there is no _thing_ in the _room_ ," she said, and the way she was stressing the words made it quite clear that she did know more than any of his family member knew. More than she was supposed to know, probably. It was hardly noticeable for anyone who didn't know what was going on, but for someone who did know... The realisation hit Alec like a brick wall. She knew about Magnus, and she was trying to find out if he knew, too.

Jace, completely ignoring the look his brother and his girlfriend had shared, scoffed. "Please, Clary. It's just a scary story."

"Exactly," Alec replied, attempting to keep his voice calm, "there is no _thing_ there."

Clary's smile widened.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Isabelle frowning at Clary and him, as if she'd picked up on the subtle hint. Alec quickly tried to school his expression, which was not as easy as he'd hoped. Not only did he have to try and get over the shock of this finding, but he also had to conceal his excitement.

He had to admit that it somewhat bothered him that Clary of all people knew about Magnus – he didn't really know a lot about her, but he didn't like her very much. That was probably due to his still present jealousy whenever it came to one of Jace's girlfriends (because so far, he had only spoken to her for a grand total of five minutes, and that wasn't enough to judge a person), but still. However, if there was someone else who had seen Magnus before, then maybe she had some theories of her own that might be helpful. Plus, if she was able to see Magnus, then she was likely to have The Sight, too, and maybe would know how to contact Tessa Gray.

"So, where are we going?" Simon interrupted the exchange, apparently getting bored with it.

"We haven't decided yet," Iz shrugged. "Any ideas?"

And that was exactly the moment when Alec got really lucky, because Clary piped up again. "The Pandemonium's my favourite," she said eagerly. "Have you been there yet? It's not that far from here, and probably the best club in lower Manhattan."

"Sounds good," Jace agreed. Alec was sure he would have agreed to pretty much anything Clary would have proposed (looking at him, Alec couldn't help but notice that Jace looked almost positively smitten, except that this wasn't a term he'd thought he'd use when talking about Jace, ever, and he did not want to think about it), but in this case, he really couldn't care less. This was way going way better than he could have hoped for.

"Fine by me," Alec shrugged, pretending to be indifferent.

Neither Isabelle not Simon had any objections, so they set off. Manhattan by night was mild and warm and still fairly loud, which was nothing unusual, but Alec saw the city in a different light now. Sometimes he would catch a movement in the corner of his eye, a shadow moving in the dark that none of the others seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't pay any attention to it. He still had to concentrate immensely to make out abnormalities, but sometimes he'd get a glimpse of a fairy or two hovering in the air above blossoming flowers, and he nearly fell over his own feet when he saw a man with a pair of horns growing out of his head. The man just raised an eyebrow and smirked as Alec stared at him in shock while the others passed him as if it was just another guy. It was logical, of course; just like Magnus had said, the man had hidden his features with Glamour, and he had been aware that there was a large part of the world he hadn't been able to see before, but this was all a lot more complicated than he had anticipated. And Alec had a feeling that this was only the beginning, that he had only just begun to scrape at the surface of this new world he had just discovered, and there would be a lot more to come.

They reached the Pandemonium after a walk of only twenty minutes. It was easy to tell they were approaching the club; not only did the music resound through the streets, but there were also a lot of people (most of them already drunk) making their way to and from the club. An increasing number of them made Alec take a closer look, and when he concentrated hard enough, he could spot Glamour on a lot of them. He wasn't always able to see through it, even when he had spotted it, but he found it easier and easier to tell who was a normal human and who wasn't. Taking a good look at the crowd waiting in front of the entrance, his guess was that the clientele was about fifty percent humans and fifty percent...well, other beings, most of which he couldn't identify. It made him wonder whether the humans here could all see through the Glamour, too, if they were aware of the fact that they were conversing with some strange magical being or whether they were blissfully ignorant of it all, like Jace and Izzy, like he himself had been only a few days ago.

He wondered if Clary knew.

His chance to ask her came shortly after they had finally made it past the doorman. Iz took one look at the bodies swaying around on the dance floor below them, grabbed Simon by the hand and took off, dragging him right into the middle of it all, and Jace immediately made his way to the bar to get him and Clary something to drink, providing Alec with the opportunity to talk to her alone.

"So, he began tentatively, "you have met Magnus."

Clary blinked, confused, and for one horrible moment Alec thought he had been mistaken, that he had just imagined everything. But then understanding dawned on her face, and she nodded curtly. "I didn't know that was his name," she admitted, "we never really made it to formal introductions."

"So you don't really know anything, then." Alec was disappointed.

Clary shrugged helplessly. "I was only in this room for, like, five minutes. We had a little chat, but it was mostly about me. He seemed to be surprised that I could see him. Believe me when I say I was surprised, too. It's not every day that someone talks to you from out of a mirror."

Alec chuckled. "Tell me about it."

"So you can see him," Clary asked, "but the others can't?"

Alec shook his head. "Do you know why?"

"No idea," she said. "My mother couldn't see him either, I think." She frowned. "No, wait. I don't know. Now that I think about it, I don't think she ever entered the room at all. As soon as she heard the story of there being a ghost, she started behaving really strange. It's weird. My mum never believed in ghost stories or anything, so I don't understand why she freaked out so much. That's why I didn't tell her. I think she would have thought I'd gone mad. Heck, there was a time when I thought I'd gone mad." She shook her head. "To be honest, I don't even know why I was always so sure he was real when I never had any proof."

Alec laughed shortly. "I thought I'd gone mad, too, when I first saw him, but yeah, he is very real."

She smiled. "I knew it."

"So you can see them, too, then?" Alec asked, indicating towards a group of creatures that looked like walking fishes and were dressed in something apparently made of seaweed. It was hard to tell from the distance, but he could have sworn they had gills, too.

Confusion shadowed her face. "See whom?" She turned around too look to the people he had pointed to, and shrugged. "What's there to see?"

Alec felt disappointment spreading through him. "Oh, nothing. Forget about it," he said quickly. He could see Jace making his way through the room, slaloming around the people standing in his way without bumping into anyone.

Clary followed his gaze, and, knowing that they didn't have much more time, asked, "So what's it like, sharing a room with him?"

"Trying. Annoying. Fun. It's...complicated." Alec took a deep breath. "I'm trying to find someone to help him getting out."

She tilted her head. "You think there is someone who could do that?"

"That's what I'm here to find out."

"Here?" she repeated, perplexed, but then Jace had reached them and she quickly cut herself off and smiled as she turned around to the blonde boy who just flashed Alec a grin, pressed the drink into her hand and proceeded to drag her towards the dance floor, much like Isabelle had done with Simon. They were swallowed by the crowd in no time, and Alec lost sight of them only a few seconds later. He couldn't spot his sister and Simon anywhere, either.

He sighed and looked around. A couple of strange but not too dangerous looking creatures were seated by the bar, and Alec decided they might be good to start with. At least they didn't look like the type of creatures who would eat his face off for asking about Tessa Gray.

"I might as well do it now," he mumbled to himself and hesitantly stepped up to their table. They were so engaged in their conversation – which took place in a language Alec had never heard before and rather resembled the croaking of toads – that they didn't notice Alec at all, not even when he cleared his throat a couple of times, already feeling a stupid blush spreading on his face (not that it was of any importance, because no one would be able to see it in the dark club, but he did feel like an idiot). Granted, they probably couldn't just hear him over the blasting music, but Alec hated that he was forced to tip one of them on the shoulder before they turned around.

"Excuse me," he said, "I'm looking for someone called Tessa Gray. A warlock. You wouldn't happen to know where I can find here, would you?"

All he received were some blank stares, followed by a shrug and a shake of the head.

Great.

"Oh. Thanks anyway."

Alec had a feeling he would need a drink if he wanted to get himself to go on with this. Conversing with strangers was not his forte, which was partly why he disliked going to clubs like this – too many people in a too small place, too much noise and too much trouble. So he pushed past a bunch of drunken teenagers and leaned against the counter. It was only after he had ordered a beer that he realised that the bartender had three sets of arms.

Alec swallowed down the nervous lump in his throat.

A blink of an eye later, the bottle was all but slammed on the wood in front of him, and he hastily searched his pocket for some coins which he dropped in the bartender's outstretched hand. It was particularly crowded around the bar, and while he wanted nothing more than to get away from both the scramble and the slightly terrifying guy serving the drinks, he did not budge. The bartender was considerably older than the creatures he had first asked about the warlock, of that he was certain, although it was somewhat difficult to guess their age. Maybe he would know more.

Upon seeing that Alec wasn't moving, the bartender leaned forwards again, looking annoyed. "Something else?" he shouted over the music.

Alec nodded. "I've been looking for a warlock called Tessa Gray," he answered. "Do you know her?"

The man frowned. "Tessa Gray?" he repeated and thought about it. "Yeah, I remember her. Not one to come here often, but she used to be very well-known and in great demand. Why?"

"Do you know where I can find her?"

The bartender shrugged. "Haven't seen her in ages," he said. "It's been a while since anyone's mentioned her, too. A couple of years at least. Don't even remember where she used to live."

"Oh."

Seeing the disappointment written all over his face, the bartender took pity on him. "Sorry, lad," he said, raising on arm to pat him on the shoulder. "I'll ask around if anyone know something, alright? It's all I can do."

"That would be great. Thank you," Alec replied, but he couldn't help the frustration seeping through his voice. He didn't believe there would be any results tonight. It was just like Magnus had feared, it seemed; his so-called friends could be anywhere in the world. Fifteen years were a long time, after all.

Alec retreated into a far corner of the club, one that was darker and, most of all, a little quieter and less crowded. The only ones close were a boy with bright green hair and the girl he was making out with. He grimaced and tried to block out the sounds they were making. He needed to think about what he and Magnus were going to do next.

He jumped when, all of a sudden, he could feel someone's breath against his neck and whirled around, coming face to face with one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen; golden hair flowed around her shoulder like a halo, framing a delicate and well-defined pale face with striking green eyes and very red lips. Her hand on his arm was ice-cold.

She smiled amiably and tsk-ed. "There is no need to be afraid of me, my dear," she said. "I was led to believe you were searching for Tessa Gray?"

Alec blinked. "Yeah," he confirmed once he had gotten over the shock. "Are you-"

The woman laughed. "Oh dear God, no."

"But you know where I can find her?" he asked.

"Maybe," she smiled again, more slyly this time. "What do you want of her?"

Alec frowned. There was something about her that made him wary. Maybe it was the way she held herself, dignified but as if she was always ready to jump at him and attack him. It was definitely the way her smile never seemed to reach her eyes. "I could be mistaken," he said slowly, "but I don't think this is any of your business, Miss..." he trailed off, waiting for her to fill the pause.

"Belcourt," she supplied, "Camille Belcourt. And who, if I may inquire, are you?"

"Alec. Alec Lightwood," he answered after a moment of hesitation.

Camille's eyes widened. "Interesting," she murmured, "This is very interesting indeed."

"What is interesting?" Alec asked, but she ignored him.

"You are lucky I happened to be here tonight," she stated haughtily. "There are not many left who could tell you about the whereabouts of Tessa Gray, and you might have had to search for a long time before finding the slightest trace of her. She has been very reclusive these past years."

"Where can I find her?" Alec repeated somewhat impatiently. "Where does she live?"

Camille stared at him for a moment, as if she was contemplating whether or not she should tell him this piece of information. "150 East End Avenue," she said in the end, still watching him with an off look on her face. "Manhattan," she added when Alec just blinked at her, not exactly knowing if that would help him in any way. "Send her my kindest regards, if you will."

He exhaled in relief. "Oh, good. Sure. Thanks."

She smiled again. "You might not want to thank me just yet, young Lightwood," she stated mysteriously, but before Alec could ask what she meant by that, she had already disappeared into the crowd again.

* * *

They had come home very late that night, and when Alec had stepped into his room, Magnus had not been there. Not wanting to interrupt the warlock's sleep, Alec had just gone to bed, figuring that he might as well tell him in the morning. Except that Alec couldn't sleep and got up again as soon as the first sunrays illuminated his room and, knowing that Magnus would be royally pissed if he woke him up that early in the morning, Alec just took a shower, got dressed, and set out for 150 East End Avenue.

It was a small house at the side of a park, as it turned out, small and clean and very nondescript. It was also covered with Glamour, and if Alec hadn't known what he was searching for, he would have probably walked straight past it without giving it any second thought. He snuck a glance at his watch. Eight a.m. was definitely too early to wake any normal person on a Sunday morning, but he determined the matter was urgent enough to justify an emergency call, or whatever one would call consulting a warlock. So he took a deep breath and pressed the bell.

For an excruciatingly long minute, nothing happened. Then, finally, he could hear the sound of someone shuffling behind the door, which then opened just the tiniest bit.

"Tessa?" he asked. "Tessa Gray?"

"Who are you?" a female voice asked, suspiciously. "What do you want?"

"My name is Alec Lightwood. I need to talk to you," he said. "If you're the one I am looking for, that is," he added in an afterthought.

The door opened a bit wider, revealing a young woman with light brown hair. Like Magnus, she didn't look much older than he did, maybe around seventeen or eighteen, but Alec assumed that, if Magnus knew her from his time before the mirror incident, she must be a lot older than she looked as well. She also didn't seem to be very pleased to find someone at her doorstep, and somehow Alec felt this didn't only have something to do with the time of the day. "How did you find me?"

"An old friend of yours. Or two, actually. And one of them needs your help. He sent me."

"Who sent you?"

"Magnus Bane."

All colour drained from her face and she gasped, one of her hand flying up to cover her mouth. It wasn't only surprise that evoked this reaction, Alec determined. There was also a lot of discomfort replacing the initial shocked expression, and, most curiously, fear. "Please," he begged, convinced that she was about to close the door in his face any second. "Please, we really need your help. There's no one else I can ask."

"Oh dear," Tessa whispered.

" _Please_."

She sighed, and stepped aside. Alec noticed the way her eyes flew from left to right, checking the street for anyone who might be watching them. When she spoke, her voice was tense. He wondered was she was so terrified of. "I think you should better come in."


	9. #19 Fragmented truths

Tessa Gray's house was just as plain on the inside as it was on the outside, but it was warm and friendly and, most importantly, the living room was full of books, and Alec had the feeling that if the situation hadn't been so terribly awkward, he might have felt quite comfortable here. The warlock had him sit down on one of the old wingback chairs and offered him a cup of Earl Grey before sitting down herself, wringing her hands nervously.

"Well," she began, after a minute or so of uncomfortable silence. "How do you know Magnus?"

Alec cleared his throat. "I, uh, kind of moved into his house. Into his room, to be more precise, actually."

That sounded even weirder when said out loud than in his head.

Tessa blinked. "Excuse me?"

Well, now Alec just felt plain dumb. By now, Tessa was probably thinking they had hooked up or something. Fuck. "I don't even know where to start," he confessed, rubbing his temple. "So...my family moved here from L.A. a couple of weeks ago and we moved into Magnus's old house. Okay, no, this...is probably not the right way to explaining this. Okay, um. So. I suppose you remember when Magnus kind of...disappeared about...fifteen years ago?"

The warlock's face was carefully composed, but Alec thought she was blanching a little more, and her lips were pressed into a small line. Strange. "I do." She shifted, but her body remained stiff. "Or rather, I remember that the last time I saw him was back then, but I was not aware he had disappeared."

"Oh?"

"No," Tessa supplied. "Being us, it's not exactly a rare occurrence to not hear from another warlock for an extended period of time. Fifteen years are next to nothing for someone who doesn't have to worry about growing old."

 _Liar_ , Alec thought.

There was some truth to her statement, he guessed, but that should not apply to someone you called a friend. And even if they hadn't been friends, Alec was pretty damn sure she should have heard the gossip. Every creature liked to talk about what was going on, and someone like Magnus couldn't just vanish from the face of the earth without anyone noticing it. And then there was the way she kept avoiding his gaze and looking down at her clasped hands, and the slight tremble in her voice, that caused him to be wholly unconvinced by what she had said.

"Well, he did disappear," Alec deadpanned, and sat up a little straighter, "the thing is, he didn't really go anywhere. He was cursed."

Tessa flinched slightly. "Cursed?" she echoed, but she didn't manage to sound half as shocked as she had intended to.

Okay, there was no way in hell she had been telling the truth about not noticing Magnus's disappearance. Alec might not be a pro at reading and understanding people, but this was so obvious that even a brick wall could have seen it. Assuming that this conversation would go over more smoothly if he pretended to buy this crap, he went along with it.

"Yes. He was cursed into a mirror. That's why I am here. I – we – need your help to get him out of there."

This time, Tessa's surprise was genuine. "He is still in there?" she spluttered, disbelievingly. "Fifteen years and he is still in there? He hasn't been able to free himself?"

Alec snorted. "That's exactly what I said." He rolled his eyes. "If he was as good a warlock as he claims to be, which he apparently isn't, then he should have been able to bail himself out by now, right? We tried some stuff – a _lot_ of stuff, actually – but his magic doesn't work the same in there. And, well, I'm basically useless anyway. I can't do more than search for some spell books and...well, search you, now."

She flinched again. "How did you find me?" she inquired, warily. "I retired years ago. There aren't many people who know where I live. Magnus doesn't know where I live now, either."

"I ran into a friend of yours."

"A friend?"

"Yeah. Camille Belcourt. She told me to send you her kindest regards."

Tessa sat frozen. "Camille," she repeated, and swallowed hard. "Now, this is a surprise."

"Why?"

She ignored his question. "And she gave you my address?" Just like that?"

"Yeah." Alec shrugged.

Tessa frowned, seemingly lost in thought. A long silence followed, until Alec cleared his throat and spoke up again. "So," he said tentatively, "will you help us?"

Tessa hesitated.

"Please," Alec urged. "I don't know where else to go. I can't help him and he can't help himself, and frankly, this is straining my nerves more than eighteen years of living with my siblings, which should be impossible, but he's stuck in the mirror of my freaking bedroom, and it's even worse for him, because he has been in there for _over a decade_. And he told me you two used to be friends. I don't know whether you really are or not, and I don't want to know, but even if something happened between the two of you, if you have a little sense of decency, you come with me and help us fix this. I'm sure he can pay you, too, if that eases your mind."

"I'm not interested in money," she snapped, looking angry now. "And of course he is my friend."

"Then I don't see what you are still waiting for."

She swallowed, and then, abruptly, stood up. "Fine. I'm coming with you to have a look at the situation. Just let me get my jacket."

Alec was sure he heard her murmur "I am going to regret this," but right now he was too excited to give it too much thought. He had done it. Granted, they had no guarantee Tessa could help them, but with a professional warlock on the other side of the mirror, they had the best prospect they'd had in weeks.

When they reached his home, Alec opened the front door as quietly as possible. "My parents should be away," he provided," and my siblings are most likely still sleeping after the party yesterday, but it's probably better if we keep our voices down. I don't want to wake them and be forced to explain the presence of an unfamiliar girl in my bedroom."

Tessa frowned. "Are they not aware of Magnus's presence?"

Alec shook his head and started up the stairs. "No, they can't see him. It's just me."

The frown deepened. "I see."

Alec would have liked to ask her whether she understood this particular phenomenon, but by this time they had reached his bedroom, and as soon as he pushed open the door there was no more time to ask left, because Magnus was there and started talking as soon as he spotted Alec.

"Oh, there you are, fuck, Alec, I already worried about you. Did you come home at all last night?" He sounded worked up and relieved at the same time.

"I did," Alec said, shrugging and trying to hide that crazy-ass wide smile that was threatening to spread all over his face.

"And you didn't fucking feel the need to tell me you haven't been eaten ali-" Magnus cut himself off abruptly when Alec took a step to the side, revealing the person standing behind him. His eyes widened a little, but then he straightened and his expression went back to being kept carefully blank. "Tessa. Long time no see."

"Hello, Magnus," Tessa said quietly and stepped forward, paying his cold tone no heed. "It's good to see you again."

Magnus half-snorted, half-chuckled. "Yeah, it kind of is. I assume Alec filled you in?"

"He did inform me of your situation, yes." She looked down on the ground. "I'm sorry, Magnus. I didn't know you were still here. If I had known-"

"What, you would have come earlier?" Magnus interrupted her, huffing. "Yeah, right."

His voice was full of bitterness, and Alec had the feeling that this would not be pretty. For a moment, he considered leaving the two alone and not intruding their privacy, but then he figured it would be better to stay and make sure Magnus didn't get too carried away. He could understand his anger, he really could, because yes, his friends had turned out to be not good friends at all, but he didn't want Magnus to say anything stupid and make Tessa refuse to help him. That would be the last thing they both needed, Magnus not being able to control himself.

"Did it not once in all these years occur to you that it might be a good idea to look for me?" Magnus asked coldly.

"Magnus, I-"

"Obviously not."

"I am sorry," Tessa said again, but Magnus just huffed.

"I heard that, but that doesn't help me any," he pointed out. "In fact, I think the last fifteen years you showed exactly how much you care, namely not at all. And I'm not sure whether I am inclined to forgive you for this, ever, but if you want to redeem yourself you might want to start by getting me out of here. As far as I recall, you still owe me a favour or two anyway, so even if you _don't_ have the intention of making it up to me, you could at least have the decency to pay me back for everything I did for you."

"I did care," she protested. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me."

Magnus blinked, clearly confused. "Why would you think I didn't want to see you?"

"Well, after I..."

His expression grew wary. "After you what?" he prompted, taking a step forward, until Alec thought he must have been almost pressing against the mirror from the inside.

Tessa's body was trembling, and even though she had her back to Alec, he could tell she was on the verge of breaking out in tears, which was just peachy, because if she did he would be the one who'd have to comfort her, and he had zero experience in that field. The only person he'd ever had to comfort was Max, and that was easy because you simply had to wrap your arms around him and eventually read another book to him. But crying girls? He hadn't seen Izzy cry once, not from physical pain when she had broken her arm a few years back, not from heartbreak and certainly not from guilt.

"I didn't know you were still in here, I swear. I assumed you would have freed yourself long ago and-"

"You _knew_?" Magnus asked, horrified. " _You knew about this_?"

Still shaking, Tessa nodded.

Alec thought that he had never seen Magnus look like this, as if he had just been stabbed in the back by someone he trusted completely. Which, if you looked at it from another perspective, was exactly what had happened. He had seen him look angry and sad and lonely, but this look of utter betrayal and devastation on his face was something he never wanted to see again. He had to admit that he would have liked to shake Tessa and scream at her, but there was also a part of him that was just utterly confused and even a little sympathetic; she really sounded like she regretted this. Genuinely. Which only confused Alec even more, because if she was so sorry about it, why had she abandoned her friend in the first place?

"You were in on this," Magnus whispered, a slight tremor in his voice. "God, I can't believe this."

"Magnus-"

"Stop," Magnus said sharply. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear your stupid excuses. I want you to reverse the spell and then I never want to see your face again. Ever, because I might break it. Do you understand?"

"Please let me explain."

"I don't think there is anything that could explain to me why you did this that I could actually understand," Magnus replied coolly.

"Yes, there is," Tessa contradicted. "I know you will understand once you know the full story. Or maybe you won't, but you need to hear it. I don't expect your forgiveness, Magnus, because I don't think I deserve it, but please at least hear me out."

Magnus crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Very well. But make it short."

She let out a shaky breath. "I don't know where to start," she confessed.

The boy in the mirror was unimpressed. "I give you two more minutes," he declared impassively.

"It was a Saturday," Tessa began quietly, her voice still trembling ever so slightly, "when Keanna unexpectedly appeared on my doorstep. I was surprised – I didn't really know her after all, and she had no reason to seek for my assistance. She was quite a capable warlock herself, as far as I recall. She asked me for a spell that would trap a living being in any kind of object. I inquired what she would do with this knowledge, and she told me exactly what she planned, who she wanted to use it on, and why." She swallowed. "Naturally, I refused."

Magnus snorted.

"She told me I shouldn't refuse until I had heard her full offer. I said there was nothing in the world that would ever make me do this to you. That was when Camille appeared."

Magnus straightened. "Camille?" he parroted, and then his lips curled into a small, bitter smile. "Oh, of course she would have her hands in this. I should have suspected as much. She was always the queen of all dark plots and conspiracies. Tell me, then, what was your prize? How much did she pay to buy you? I hope it was at least worth it."

Tessa took a deep breath. "She promised me she would bring my husband back to life."

Magnus froze. "Jem? She told you she could resurrect Jem?"

"Yes."

"And you believed her?"

"Yes. Camille has been alive for centuries. She knows more things than you and I together."

Magnus shook his head. "Even for you, who is incredibly credulous and gullible, this is ridiculously naive," he commented matter-of-factly; Alec noted that the sharp edge to his voice had nearly disappeared. Now he merely sounded incredulous and, well, tired.

"She held her work," Tessa remarked quietly.

Magnus's head snapped up, his cat eyes fixed on his old friend. "You have got to be kidding me," he gruffed. "This is impossible."

"Apparently, it is not."

"You don't expect me to believe this, do you?" Magnus asked dryly.

A small smile appeared on Tessa's face. "I will send him to see you," she said. "He will be so excited to see you. All this time he's been asking why you never came around, but I just told him you were travelling. It was an easy enough explanation for your absence, I suppose." The smile slipped away. "I haven't told him what I've done," she whispered. "I wanted to, but I couldn't get myself to do it. He would hate me."

"No, he wouldn't," Magnus interrupted her. "Jem is too good a person to hate anyone. Especially not you. He has always loved you, and I don't think anything could ever change that."

Tessa let out a quiet sob. "I'm so sorry, Magnus. I really am. But I missed him so much, and I couldn't bear the thought of spending the rest of eternity alone. So I gave them the spell, thinking that you would surely find a way to free yourself quickly. And when you didn't come to see me nor replied to the letter I wrote to you to explain everything, I assumed they had told you that I had helped them and that you didn't want to see me. I wouldn't have wanted to see me if I were you."

"It's okay, Tessa," Magnus said, sighing. All of his anger seemed to have evaporated.

"No, it's not."

"No, it's not," Magnus agreed, "but I understand. I would have done the exact same thing."

She let out a small laugh. "You were always the one who told me not to wake the dead."

"True. But I have never loved anyone the way you loved Jem," Magnus said sincerely. Then he cleared his throat. "Um, can we please end this moment of heartfelt confessions right here, though? I feel like I'm in some kind of chick flick, which is probably even a pretty accurate description of my situation, and while I usually love them, I'd really prefer to get on with the matter at hand. I'm still pissed at you, too, by the way, because you should have fucking come around to check on me earlier. I will also most likely continue to be a complete bitch to you for a while even after you've gotten me out of here, but eventually I'll get over it and we can be friends again and kick Camille's ass. And Keanna's, too, preferably."

"Why did she curse you into that mirror, anyway?" Alec spoke up finally. He'd watched the scene in front of him with both interest and discomfort, feeling as if he intruded on a moment that was private and not for him to witness and yet too fascinated to just leave. However, he also seemed to be the only one aware that there were still a bunch of holes in this story. Or maybe that was just because he didn't know anything about the back-story, but he determined if there was any time to reveal the whole story, then this was it. "And don't give me that vague crap again," he warned Magnus.

The warlock blinked at him, as though he had almost forgotten Alec was still in the room, and then sighed and rubbed his temple. "I'm...not sure whether there is an actual logical explanation. Keanna and I have never gotten along. She begrudged me my position as High Warlock of Brooklyn. Also, I suppose that it didn't help when I turned her down a couple of decades ago. Or that I slept with her boyfriend some time later," he said somewhat sheepishly.

Alec tried not to look too consternated.

"And Camille...well, Camille is another story. A long one." Upon seeing the _don't give me that fuck again_ face Alec pulled, he added, "The important part, I guess, is that we used to be an item. There was a fallout. She has hated me ever since. And it would only be logical for her to side with Keanna, because she obviously needed someone who could match my skills in certain areas to fulfil her plan. At least I am convinced that this was her idea. She's good at that kind of thing. Enough information?"

Alec gulped. "You dated _Camille Belcourt_?" he blurted out, because, well, _what the fuck_?

Magnus frowned. "How come you know her last name?"

"Well, I met her. She was the one who told me where to find Tessa," Alec replied, doing his best not to inwardly freak out about the information that had just reached his ears. So Magnus played for both teams. So what? What did he care? Magnus would be out in a couple of minutes anyway, and then he'd be gone and Alec would never see him again. End of story. Happily ever after, blah blah blah. Alec would finally get his peace and sanity back, and Magnus could go off to hook up with anyone – or anything – he wanted, and Alec wouldn't care at all.

"I don't like that," Magnus said grimly. "Why would she do that if not to fuck us up later?"

Tessa shook her head. "I'm not sure, but I assume it would be to amuse herself. She has been getting your hopes up, fully knowing that I would not be able to help you."

" _What_?" Alec and Magnus asked in unison.

"What the fuck do you mean you can't help us?" Magnus added, for good measure, but from the way the colour drained from his face Alec suspected he already knew the answer.

Tessa sighed. "Keanna didn't just curse you into this mirror, Magnus, and you know it. If you haven't managed to find a way around the obvious way to break the spell, then I won't find any, either. We both know this."

"Wait, what do you mean, 'the obvious way to break the spell'?" Alec asked, confused.

Tessa sighed again and turned around to face him. "When Keanna cast that spell, she was, as Magnus pointed out, still upset about this...incident involving him and her lover," she explained slowly. "She was convinced that Magnus was narcissistic and arrogant and that he only knew how to love himself. That is why she added a clause that not even I, nor anyone, can circumvent."

"And what would that clause be?"

"That the spell can only be broken by love."

There was a long pause in which Tessa just looked terribly guilty and ashamed, Magnus seemed to veer between being angry and thoroughly nauseated, and Alec...well, Alec could only think one thing:

"Fuck."


	10. #130 Shattered reflections

Magnus's expression was one of utter shock and panic. "You have got to be kidding me," he said weakly, but from the way Tessa's expression twisted in discomfort and pity, Alec could tell that she wasn't lying, not this time, and he knew that, as much as Magnus wanted to believe otherwise, he was also aware that this was the truth.

"Now that's just peachy," Alec spat out. He really wanted to punch something. Badly. In a remote corner of his mind Alec was aware that, wow, although he had always had a bit of a temper, he seriously needed some anger management. He's been angry and frustrated a lot lately, a whole lot more than usual, and he felt like he really needed to get a grip, because wrecking his furniture wouldn't get him anywhere. Hell, he didn't even know what or whom he was angry with. Magnus? Tessa? The warlock who had cursed Magnus? His parents for moving here and getting him into this mess in the first place? Himself? His life, for not making any fucking sense anymore at all?

"Alec-" Tessa started, but he didn't let her finish.

"No, seriously," he hissed, throwing his hands up in frustration. "That's just _perfect_." Oh, look, he thought, he'd learned being sarcastic after all. He'd have to thank Jace for that later. Or maybe not. "How in hell are we supposed to find Magnus's true love? Bring every girl that passes by the street into my room and see if she falls for him? And boys, too, and members of every other species, because apparently there isn't anything or anyone Magnus is not willing to do?"

"I'm in this room, you know," Magnus said through gritted teeth, and Alec bet that if he wasn't stuck behind that glass and practically restrained, he would have very much liked to unleash his frustration on Alec with more than just words as well. "Stop talking as if I wasn't there."

"Well, technically you're not _in_ this room, and I can say whatever the fuck I want. And it's nothing but the truth, right?"

"Could we please stop shouting at each other and being so pessimistic?" Tessa tried to calm them down, with little success - or, to be honest, none at all.

"No," Alec said shortly. He knew he was behaving like a prat and possibly hurting Magnus, but right now, he couldn't care less.

"I don't see how I could not be pessimistic," Magnus pointed out, his voice strained. "For once, I agree with Alexander. In all these centuries I have been alive I haven't been able to find my 'one true love', as you called it, if such a thing even exists, which I highly doubt, by the way. Now I can't even move freely in order to meet new people that could possibly fall in love with me. And even if Alec did agree to let strangers into this bedroom - which I doubt as well, not to mention that it would be impossible to do that without his family noticing, and I don't see how that could end well - frankly, I also doubt that this would be a successful strategy. There are far over six billion people living on this planet, and for all we know, my 'one true love'," he deadpanned, emphasizing his point by wiggling his fingers to imitate quotation marks, "could live in Zimbabwe. This person might not even be born. Chances are he or she will never even be aware of my existence, just like it happens with ninety-five percent of earth's population anyway. Not to mention that most people aren't even able to see me. Yeah, those are real great premises. What do you expect me to do? A happy dance?"

"No one said anything about 'one true love'," Tessa interjected. "Just...love. A person who loves you and whom you love back. Genuinely. I'm not talking about The One Soulmate with capital letters."

"Great, thanks, that makes it so much better," Magnus replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Alec immediately felt bad for lashing out at him and Tessa before when he saw the look in his eyes. What right did _he_ have to be angry and upset? Yes, the entire situation did put a strain on his nerves as well and right now he wanted nothing more than to really have _his_ room for _himself_ , but he was really not the one who got the worst of it. Yes, he was affected by Magnus's fate, but feeling sorry for himself here? No, that was way out of line. If he had to be angry or upset, it should be for the right reasons: namely for feeling with Magnus. Alec couldn't even begin to fathom what the warlock must feel like right now. He had spent fifteen years in solitude, locked into a tiny place with no light and no space to move and then, when he had finally been able to get his hopes up with a reason, he had them crushed in the most devastating way. They all knew this wasn't going to end well; even Tessa, who so desperately tried to cheer him up – mostly because of pity and her guilty conscience, Alec suspected, or maybe because she seemed to be the kind of person who was almost always nice to everyone and cared a great deal about the others' wellbeing. He just wished she had cared a little more a lot earlier, before, then they wouldn't have to deal with this mess right now.

Alec sighed. "Okay, Tessa is right, let's just...let's just...not do this. This isn't going to get us anywhere. Let's think and figure out a way to solve this."

For a split second, something akin to surprise and genuine gratitude flashed in Magnus's eyes, but these sentiments were immediately replaced with a bitter grimace. "As much as I appreciate your concern and your willingness to help, I think we all know this is futile."

"But-"

"It's not worth the effort, Alec. Just...leave it."

Alec stared at him incredulously. "You can't possibly mean that! You can't want to give up now!" he exclaimed.

"What, are you a psychic now?" Magnus replied flippantly. "I daresay I know better what I want than you do."

Alec bit back a snarky remark that was lying on the tip of his tongue and said, stubbornly, "Don't kid me. Of course you still want to get out. No one would want to rot in there. So we'll find a way. Somehow."

Magnus snorted but otherwise remained silent. It was a good sign, Alec supposed, and interpreted as the warlock's way of silently agreeing with and thanking him. He turned to Tessa. "Any other ideas?"

"As of now?" Tessa shook her head. "No. But I will try to find something. I have several books specifically on curses and spells concerning love – maybe I will find something useful in them." She looked straight at Magnus, then, despondence and regret clear on her face. "It's the least I can do."

Alec nodded. "Good. I'll show you out, then." He figured that Magnus might want to have some time for himself right now to digest what he had just learned, and he also wanted Tessa to start as soon as possible.

They walked quietly down the stairs, trying to make as little sound as possible. His siblings still hadn't gotten up and he had to admit that he was kind of grateful they had stayed out so long last night – both of them, but especially Jace, were usually early risers, and he seriously had no idea how he could have possibly explained Tessa's presence to them if they hadn't been sleeping off the booze but instead bustling about the house. However, when they reached the front door, there was one question he couldn't hold back.

"Why can I see him?" he blurted out, cutting off her good-bye.

She started. "I don't know."

"Yes, I think you do," Alec insisted. "You know more about this spell keeping him contained in this prison than any of us. Magnus has been trying to find an answer, but he hasn't come up with anything plausible."

"Is it really that important?" Tessa wondered. "You have The Sight. Isn't that explanation enough?"

"Not for me, it isn't. Because Clary, my brother's...girlfriend...she could see him, too. But she doesn't see anyone else."

"Maybe her Sight isn't fully developed yet," Tessa said, but she sounded like she didn't believe it herself.

"Or maybe it doesn't have anything to do with having the Sight at all," he interjected. "At least that's not all of it. And you know that."

The warlock sighed. "I don't _know_ anything for sure," she replied calmly. "But I do have a theory."

"Tell me." Alec scrutinized her face. "Because I think it might be important."

Tessa sighed again. "Yes, I fear so as well. However, I can by no means promise that my theory will prove to be correct. Not before I have done some research."

Alec rolled his eyes impatiently. He _hated_ it when people danced around the issue and avoided wording the problems at all costs. Maybe it was because he hardly ever understood irony and sarcasm, but he had always been blunt and had likewise always preferred people who were straightforward. He knew how to shut his mouth and be polite, too, and that there were some things you just didn't say. This situation was not one where they should keep secrets from one another, though – not when it came to something that might or might not help them. "Tell me anyway."

She looked him directly in the eyes, her expression both solemn and concerned. "Well," she said slowly, "this entire curse is about love; it's the most essential factor in this equation. Therefore I assume that this is linked to it as well."

"In what way?" Alec pressed.

"My guess would be that only persons who either already loves or has loved him ,or people who could potentially fall in love with him – or, respectively, people he might fall in love with – can see him."

Alec started. "Come again?"

"I think you heard me just fine. Also, I am sure you have considered this possibility as well."

"Um," Alec blinked. "No I haven't. That's... _what_?"

Tessa simply raised her eyebrows.

There were a thousand thoughts whirling through his head right now. Funny enough, the first thing that came out of his mouth was: "Wait, so if you're saying only persons who have loved him or might love him can see him, do you mean...I mean, _you two too_?" Alec had the horrifying feeling that his voice was sounding less disbelieving and reproachful than rather...upset, going by the way it seemed to rise an octave or two at the end of the question.

Tessa looked mildly scandalized by the accusation. "What? No. No! We have always just been friends."

"Oh." Alec was almost embarrassed at how relieved he was. "I suppose friendship is a kind of love," he amended finally. "Which is probably why I can see him, too."

The warlock cleared her throat. "Maybe," she said vaguely. "Would you consider Magnus your friend?"

Alec shrugged. "I guess so, yeah. Kind of. We are...I mean, this is really fucked up and I don't think we would have ever spoken a word to each other if we had met each other in another situation or place, but-"

"Oh, I think you would have," Tessa murmured and smiled lightly. "I should leave now. As soon as I find out something, I will contact you. If anything happens, you know where to find me."

Alec nodded. "Good luck."

He didn't return to his room until a few hours later, instead opting to go and watch TV, something he hadn't done in a while. He had never been much of a TV person, and to be honest, what was on in the morning was usually a whole lot of crap, nothing else. This time, however, he was grateful for the dulling effect it had on his brain; the less he used it to think, the less probability there was he'd have another headache by the end of the day. He'd had a lot of those since they had moved to New York. Alec let out a chortled sound of laughter. And he had always thought _Jace_ gave him headaches and would be the death of him.

Yeah, well, Jace was a fucking relaxing wellness oasis compared to what he had to put up with now.

And here he was, thinking _again._

Goddammit. Couldn't he just get a break for once?

Too late now. Once the metaphorical ball in his brain had started rolling, there was no stopping it anymore. This had always been his curse. Izzy was right, one day his head _would_ crack from overexertion.

He didn't like Tessa's theory. He didn't like it one bit. Sure, in a way it might come in handy, simplifying their quest to find the person who could break the spell (not that Alec would actually agree to let everyone in his bedroom just to check that, ever). On the other hand, it worried him. It worried him because of what it meant for him. He had seen it clearly on Tessa's face when he had uttered his 'friendship is a sort of love' phrase.

She didn't believe it.

And now what the hell did _that_ mean? That he was actually one of the persons who could, theoretically, fall for Magnus? Yeah, um, no. Not likely. Yes, Magnus _was_ a very good looking guy, despite – or maybe _because_ – of his slightly weird cat eyes, and he could be extremely charming, _and Alec was totally not thinking about how hot he was. At all_. Either way, it didn't matter what he thought about Magnus's looks, because this had nothing to do with love – that was exactly the lesson Magnus was supposed to learn, wasn't it? Partly, at least, this was not about jealousy and vengeance, but about teaching someone a lesson on not being so fucking narcissistic.

Anyway.

Their friendship was a strange one. Sometimes Alec wasn't even sure whether the term friendship actually applied to them. Like he had told Tessa, he couldn't really picture him being the warlock's friend in, well, real life. In the real world where crazy stuff didn't happen they probably wouldn't even have met. And if they had, they wouldn't have hit it off, he assumed. They were just too different. Yes, they had pulled themselves together and established a more or less well-functioning work relationship, and maybe something a little more, maybe something you could call friendship, but despite everything, Alec doubted Magnus would want to have anything to do with him once he got out. Which would be entirely understandable – if Alec were in Magnus's place, he wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who reminded him of these horrendous times either. Still, this wasn't a real friendship. More like...camaraderie. Or something,

But certainly not love.

And he did _not_ want to think about what it would mean that Clary had been able to see him as well if Tessa's theory was true. Not at all. Wasn't it enough that she got his brother wrapped around her finger? Did she also have to be a potential lover of his boy in the mirror?

The.

He'd meant to think the. The boy. Not his.

Shit.

Freudian slip. Anyway. He was so not thinking about that right now.

Groaning, Alec pushed himself up and returned to his room to see whether Magnus had cooled down a little. They probably needed to talk through their next courses of action, determine what to do. He didn't think there would be anything useful coming out of that conversation, but Alec was a rational person and he liked to have everything planned out as minutely as possible. He would have liked to know what to prepare for next. Improvisation was not his forte, and so far basically all they had done here was improvise, which was one of the reasons it made Alec feel so uncomfortable.

Magnus was indeed still there when he entered, and he did look as if he had gotten a bit of a grip on himself. His face was still shut-off and distant, but at least he looked more or less calm and composed.

"I've been thinking," he announced as soon as Alec had shut the door behind him.

"About what?"

Magnus gave him a deadpan look that clearly said _'Duh, what do you think has been on my mind lately?'_ , which, Alec had to admit, would be a legitimate question, while his had been a pretty dumb one. Of course the warlock had been pondering ways to get him out with the new information they had learned.

"Okay," Alec said, letting himself flop back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. "Shoot ahead. What's _your_ theory?"

Magnus leaned against the frame of the mirror. "If love is the only way of getting me out," he began, slowly but unhesitant, "I daresay the solution is pretty simple."

"Oh yeah?" Alec asked. "Simple? Interesting. Because I think that makes it pretty complicated."

"I need you to kiss me."

Alec blinked, sure that he hadn't heard that correctly. "What?"

"I need you to kiss me," Magnus repeated matter-of-factly.

This was _so_ not happening. Alec bolted upright and stared at Magnus. " _What_?"

"You heard me just right." The warlock shrugged indifferently. "It's surprisingly easy when you think of it. I can't believe it hasn't occurred to me before. We are practically stuck in some stupid parody of those mundane fairytales, and it's always a kiss that breaks the spell and saves the cursed princess. Snow White, Sleeping beauty...the list goes on." He looked at Alec expectantly, as if to ask him what the hell he was waiting for.

A lot of things were whirling through Alec's head and lying on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be said. Like _what the hell?_ Or _you have_ _got_ _to be kidding me._ Or _have gone mad?_ Or _I can't believe you just compared yourself to a_ _princess_ _._

In the end, he settled for "No."

Magnus started. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"Just what I said," Alec shook his head in disbelief. "No. I am not going to kiss you. No way."

"What's your problem?"

Alec shook his head again. "This is never going to work. You said it yourself. Love, remember? I don't love you. You don't love me."

"It's worth a shot," Magnus shrugged.

"No."

"Oh, get your head out of your ass, will you," Magnus bit out, rolling his eyes. "It's just a kiss. No need to make such a fuss about it."

"You – just a – you know what?" Alec spluttered, feeling the heat of anger rising and rushing through his body. "Go fuck yourself! I'm not your fucking toy, okay? I'm not some object you can use and exploit as you like and then throw away! I'm a living person with feelings and I am not your fucking _tool_."

"I never said you were."

"Well, but you are treating me like one."

"It's just a kiss!" Magnus insisted. "It's nothing important."

"Yeah, well, maybe for you it's nothing important, but I'm not some slut who goes around doing every living creature," Alec spat out. "I suppose it's a concept that escapes your understanding, but I am not kissing someone I don't want to kiss."

Magnus snorted. "Hate to break it to you, but if you're waiting for your brother to kiss you, you'll grow old and wrinkled before that happens."

Alec froze. "What?" he whispered. "What did you say?"

Magnus waved his hand impatiently. "I'm talking about Jace and your crush on him. And yes, I know you are still in the closest – hell, you are probably still in _denial_ – but yes, you still have a big fat gay crush on him. But it's not going to happen. You know that just as well as I do. So stop being such a prude and live a little. There's no use waiting for him, and there's nothing wrong with kissing another guy."

"I don't have a crush on my brother," Alec hissed. "Stop saying that!"

"I know you don't like to hear it, but it's nothing but the truth." Magnus's voice was cold and harsh. "Don't waste your time waiting on him. And get the hell over yourself. It's just a kiss."

"Shut up!"

Alec didn't know what was the last straw that made him snap, the way Magnus kept on taunting him, his coldness, his scorn or maybe something else, but before he realised what he was doing, he held the heavy bookend that stood on his desk in his hand and hurled it at the mirror. The glass shattered with a loud, crashing sound where it found its target, and Magnus's scream reverberated through the air.


	11. #449 From better to worse

Alec regretted his actions even before the heavy bookend hit the glass, but by the time he realised what he was doing, it was already too late. Before the possible consequences of his action had come to his mind, all he could think about was the sound of chinking glass and Magnus screaming in pain. Alec could see him clutching his side and stumbling backwards, disappearing from his field of vision, and a sense of utter terror rushed through his body, making the blood in his veins curdle.

"Magnus?" he rasped, bolting forward. "Magnus?"

There was no answer, and the knot in Alec's chest grew tighter. "Shit!" he cursed. "Shit shit shit shit _shit!"_

He stilled for a moment, trying to regain composure, but that wasn't working out to well. Cautiously, he took another step forward to inspect the damage, careful not to step on the tiny shards scattered on the floor. Some little bits and pieces of the mirror had been quarried out, but all in all, he supposed it could have been worse; he should be glad he had only used the wooden bookend and not the metal one, he assumed, or the mirror would have been completely destroyed. While a large part of the mirror remained intact, there was, however, a rather large web of cracks spreading from where the bookend had hit the glass on the right side of the mirror, leaving the glass cracked and his reflection fragmented.

Magnus was nowhere to be seen.

Alec felt the panic surge again. God. Fucking. Dammit.

"Magnus," he asked urgently. "Magnus, can you hear me?"

He didn't get an answer either.

Alec cursed again. In this very moment, he could hear the faint creak of his bedroom door being opened. As always, his siblings had the worst timing ever.

When he turned around, Jace was leaning in the doorway, his eyebrows raised. "Whoa," he said dryly. "Someone has some serious self-hatred issues. I understand it can be frustrating that I'm more beautiful than anyone else, but did you have to take that out on the poor mirror?"

Usually, his teasing tone wouldn't have earned him more than a roll of his eyes from Alec's side, but right now he was so not in the mood for jokes. "Shut it, Jace. Please."

Jace's eyebrows only rose higher. "Seriously, man, what got your pants in a twist? I know you have some fits occasionally, but you're not usually the furniture-destroying type."

Alec bit his tongue and forced himself to get a grip. "Nothing. I just...stumbled and...erm...the bookend slipped out of my hand and...well." He sounded uncomfortable, even he could hear that, and if it had been Izzy, she probably would have picked up on the lie immediately. But this was Jace, and he apparently mistook it for embarrassment for being clumsy. Or maybe he just didn't call his brother out on it. Who could ever tell with Jace?

The blonde boy laughed. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," he grinned, "you've always had the grace of a dying elephant."

Alec blinked. "What?"

"Anyway," Jace said, taking a casual step back, obviously not inclined to repeat his words – and that was probably for the better, too, because Alec didn't have the time for the mindless quarrels they were sure to engage in if he elaborated that right now – and have him another lopsided grin, "I'm out. Meeting Clary, you know?"

Alec forced himself to give him a more or less genuine smile and nodded. "Have fun," he said in a voice that even he realised was a really crappy imitation of cheerfulness. Jace frowned but apparently decided he wasn't concerned enough to be late for his date, waved lazily and disappeared down the hallway. As soon as he was out of sight and hearing range, Alec fished for his cell phone and quickly dialled a number he had only saved this morning.

Tessa picked up on the fourth ring. "I know you are both impatient, Alexander, but I cannot work wonders," she sighed.

He didn't even bother replying to that and went straight to the point. "I broke the mirror," he said simply, and the intense feeling of guilt was wrenching his guts again.

There was a long silence. Alec thought that maybe he should remembered to tell her to sit down before dropping the bomb, but then again, it didn't sound like she had collapsed – he was sure he would have heard her hitting the floor – so he figured she would be alright. And she was probably already getting used to getting shell-shocked by him, so... Finally, he heard her take in a deep breath. "I will be there immediately," she promised, and hung up before he got the chance to thank her.

He spent the next thirty minutes that passed until her arrival pacing up and down his room. After several failed attempts at talking to Magnus, he had given up, assuming that either Magnus did not want to talk to him or...or, well, something worse had happened to him. He pushed that particular thought as far out of his mind as possible, because the notion alone made him want to throw up. Then, finally, the doorbell rang and he rushed down to let Tessa in.

She didn't spend any time with courtesies and just headed for his room again at once. "What exactly happened?" she demanded tersely.

Alec inhaled deeply. "We were fighting. I was angry and...and I threw a bookend at the mirror. It's not shattered," he added, closing the door behind him. "Not completely, but there are some major cracks in the glass."

Tessa stepped in front of the mirror, examining the damage much like Alec had done earlier, but not daring to touch anything. He couldn't see her face, but he knew what her expression would be like at this very moment anyway – one of shock and worry, and, well, she'd be blaming him. Of course she would. Hell, he was blaming himself, too.

Still, he was glad he didn't have to see her look at him like that.

"What about Magnus?" Tessa asked. "Is he alright?"

Alec swallowed hard. "I don't know. But...but I don't think so. He..."

"He what?"

"He sounded like he was in pain. When the glass broke, I mean. And...I don't know, either he's just refusing to talk to me or..." he trailed off. Tessa didn't need him to finish that sentence to understand what he was getting at. He didn't want to finish that sentence himself.

"Well, there is an easy way to find out," Tessa said after a moment of collecting herself, and turned to the mirror again. "Magnus?" she asked. "Magnus, can you hear me?"

There was a short moment of silence, followed by some shuffling and a suppressed groan. "Yes." Magnus's voice sounded rough and strained, nothing like his usual melodic and velvety voice. For a moment, Alec almost didn't realise it was him talking.

There was another sharp intake of breath, and Tessa tensed. "Magnus?"

"Yes, hold on a second, I'm trying to get up."

"Don't strain yourself."

Magnus let out a shuddering laugh. "I don't think it'll do any more damage, my dear. I'll be fine." Finally, he appeared in their field of sight again, and this time it was Alec who couldn't suppress a gasp.

Magnus was clearly not so much standing as leaning on the frame of the mirror, breathing heavily and looking like he was about to collapse anytime. He was clutching his left side, just underneath his ribcage – about the height where the bookend had hit the glass, the rational part of his brain informed him, unsolicited – and the shirt underneath his hands was stained with blood.

"God," Tessa whispered. "Magnus..."

The warlock smiled thinly and waved it off. "Don't worry about it. It's not as bad as it looks."

Alec huffed. "Is that supposed to be reassuring?" he asked. "Because it's not working."

Magnus tensed upon hearing his voice and ignored him completely, instead addressing Tessa again. "I mean it," he said. "I haven't lost that much blood, and the bleeding has almost stopped. As it is, it's not the blood loss I am concerned about."

"What are you worried about, then, when it's not that you have a leaking gash in your side?"

Slowly, Magnus lifted his T-shirt a bit, making an effort not to move too much or too rapidly, but still flinching from time to time. He didn't have to reveal much of his stomach to prove his point. There _was_ a rather deep wound where the glass had broken out of the mirror completely, but he had indeed succeeded in more or less stemming the bleeding. What looked more troubling were certainly the dark lines that, starting from the centre of the damage – the deep gash – had begun to spread over his torso. That was definitely not what would happen with a usual injury.

And, as Alec noted, the black lines followed the exact pattern the cracks in the glass did. The realisation came to him like a fist to the stomach and yes, now he did feel even worse than before. He hadn't thought that was possible, but it was.

The warlock cracked another weak smile and let the shirt drop down again. "They're not spreading anymore, so I hope this is a good sign. Also, it almost doesn't feel like I'm cut into pieces with a burning knife anymore, so I guess that's a good sign."

"Almost?" Tessa repeated weakly and shook her head. "Why are you not healing yourself?"

Magnus grimaced. "I can't. I've tried but...it's not working. Maybe it's because the actual damage was done to the mirror, not to me, despite how I might be linked to it, and I cannot do anything to repair the mirror – you know my magic doesn't reach anything beyond this room I'm in. Maybe I will heal if you manage to fix the glass."

Tessa nodded and gently laid her hand on the cracks. Magnus bit his lip, clearly in pain when she touched the part of the mirror that was connected to his wound, but it still seemed to be bearable. However, as soon as she started chanting her incantation and the soft blue, glowing light forming around her hand touched the surface of the mirror, Magnus bit back another scream and recoiled violently, stumbling back several steps and hardly managing to keep himself afoot. Tessa jerked back her hand, shocked.

"I don't understand," she said frantically. "I'm sorry, Magnus, I-"

"It's okay," he interrupted her, still breathing hard. "Not your fault."

"I don't understand," Tessa said again. "This spell should have repaired the glass."

"Well, obviously it has a reversed effect here." Magnus grit his teeth, nodding towards the glass.

With some horror, Alec realised that the crack were spreading again. Just a bit, but they were growing bigger. It only took one look at how Magnus's face contorted in pain to understand that the lines on his body were spreading as well. Suddenly, his knees buckled and he crumpled to the ground, out of their sight again.

"Magnus?" Tessa called in panic.

"Yeah," Magnus answered after a moment, between several gasps. "In attendance. Forgive me for not wanting to get up at the moment. I think I might just lie down for while and admire the ceiling. It really is an excellent view. I hadn't realised that before."

Tessa shook her head. "God forbid that you ever lose your sense of humour."

Magnus let out a strangled laugh. "If I'd lost that I'd be long dead."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing. Well, nothing more than you did before. Pore over every book you have and find something that will help me."

Tessa swallowed and nodded. "I will be in touch," she promised. "Take care of him," was all she said to Alec before showing herself out.

Alec stood in the middle of the room for a long time, unmoving, unsure what to do. It was crystal clear that Magnus did not desire to talk to him, and it was probably for the better if took it slow and didn't talk too much anyway. Also, there wasn't much Alec could do to make things better – if there was anything at all in the first place, which he doubted. Still, he desperately wanted to do _something. Anything._ Anything would be better than standing there and feeling completely useless and utterly guilty.

He cleared his throat and tentatively approached the mirror.

"Magnus?"

No answer.

"Magnus?"

"Shut up," the warlock growled from behind the glass. "I'm not talking to you."

The smartass part of Alec's brain would have liked to point out that, yes, he was talking to him in that very second, but smartassery was definitely uncalled for now. "I'm sorry, Magnus", he said instead, and he meant it. "I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Not good enough," Magnus hissed. "You should have thought of that before hurling heavy objects at me. Personally, I hope that you'll have more than just seven years of bad luck for breaking that mirror. And if you'd shut up now I would maybe be able to concentrate."

Alec frowned. "Concentrate on what?"

There was an annoyed huff. "On anything other than the pain."

"Oh." Alec's shoulders slumped. "You could...concentrate on our conversation, if that helps to distract you," he offered weakly.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Magnus's was a little bit softer now, but Alec could imagine the wry, bitter smile that must be on his face. "I'm trying to channel some energy to dim the pain, if nothing else. Don't know if that'll help, but it's worth a shot. And if it doesn't work, there's beautiful dark spot on the ceiling that I can stare at to distract me, so if you'd please leave me in peace now..."

"Is-"

"God help me, but if you're going to ask whether there is anything you can do, I'm going to break through the damn thing here myself just to punch you," Magnus snarled.

"Yeah, sorry for feeling like an ass and trying to help."

"There wouldn't be need for any of this is you could control your temper."

"I wouldn't have lost my temper if you hadn't behaved like such an ass," Alec countered, only to bite his tongue and regret his words the second they'd left his mouth. It was true, of course, if Magnus's comments hadn't gotten him that worked up he'd never thrown the bookend at him, but hell, he couldn't just keep on blaming Magnus for all this. He sighed, rubbing his temples in a feeble attempt to chase away the approaching headache. "Is this how it's going to be?" he asked quietly. "Are we just going to keep blaming each other for everything that's happened?"

There was another long silence, and for a moment Alec was sure that Magnus wasn't even listening to him anymore, that he had gone back to whatever he was doing to ignore the pain as well as he could. Then he heard Magnus sigh. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe we will always be at each other's throats."

"I don't want to be," Alec admitted.

"Yeah, me neither." Another pause. "Why are we still talking?"

Alec almost smiled. "Does it help?" he asked instead of answering, because frankly, he wasn't quite sure why Magnus hadn't been more insistent on getting rid of him.

The warlock took a moment to contemplate. "A little."

"Then that's why, I suppose." He shrugged. "I meant it, you know."

"What? That you didn't want to hurt me?"

"Yes."

Magnus sighed. "I know. But it doesn't change anything."

Alec tried to ignore the stab of pain these words caused. Somehow it was all made worse by the fact that Magnus didn't even sound mad anymore. He just sounded tired and defeated, like he didn't even have the strength to fight with him anymore. It was a scary thought, because so far, his sharp tongue and mordacity had been Magnus's most noticeable attributes and dear God, it had driven him up the wall, even more so than anything Jace said, but in this very moment Alec wished he would just go back to normal. He'd take his anger, he'd take his snappy and snarky comments, everything, rather than this. Like this, Magnus was actually scaring him.

Sometimes, in occasions like this, Alec wondered what Magnus had been like before being cursed. He couldn't imagine him without his teasing and flippancy, but he guessed that without the bitterness constantly seeping into his voice, he might have made people laugh a lot. He would have been the one who was always at the centre of everyone's attention, the popular guy who was loved and envied by many, who had tons of friends but few people who actually knew him. And he would have definitely been the kind of guy to not look at Alec twice if they'd met under different circumstances.

Thinking about it, it kind of hurt. Strangely enough, he could almost not imagine his life here in New York without having met Magnus, mostly, he suspected, because Magnus had taken up such a big part of his life ever since he moved here, albeit reluctantly. But on the other hand, he would have gladly given that all up just to not see Magnus suffering like that.

He might not be the one who put him in the situation in the first place, but he was the one who had made everything so much worse. They didn't even know what was happening to Magnus and he couldn't stand to think about it, either.

"Stop it."

Alec blinked. "What?"

Magnus sighed. "Blaming yourself. I can almost hear you wallowing in your misery and self-disdain. Stop it. I kind of asked for it."

Alec could hardly believe his ears. "Magnus, you're not the one who should be apologising. I'm not the one who got hurt. I'm the one who overreacted. I'm - "

"Shut it. I'm trying not to be mad at you, so humour me and don't remind me, okay?"

Alec froze. There was an unspoken implication behind his words that he picked up on immediately, and he didn't like it one bit. "Don't talk like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're going to –" He broke off, unable to speak it out loud. He didn't even want to think about it, how in hell was he going to utter something like this?

"Die?" Magnus finished his sentence for him, and Alec flinched. "No point beating around the bush, darling. It's highly likely that this is what will happen and I, for my point, don't want to go being full of resentment."

"Don't say that! You're not going to die! I won't let that happen!" Alec choked out.

"Thanks." The warlock let out a shuddering breath, and Alec could tell he was still in pain, despite his best efforts to hide the strain in his voice. "I appreciate that, but...let's be realistic here, please. It's only a matter of time." He laughed faintly. "It's strange, I always thought that time was the only thing I had in abundance, and now, when I actually need it, it's finally running out."

"I'm not going to watch you die, Magnus," Alec said, his voice thick. It didn't come out half as forceful and determined as he'd intended.

"It's a good thing you can't see me while I'm lying here, then," Magnus joked weakly.

"Don't. Please, just – don't." Alec swallowed and stood up quickly. "I'll call Tessa. Maybe I can help her. Maybe I can –"

"No," Magnus pleaded. "Don't go. Please. I don't want to be alone. Stay."

Alec inhaled deeply, yet again feeling like he was going to throw up. Every fibre of his being wanted to get away, to not do this, to negate that the situation was really that bad, but he couldn't. He couldn't walk out and ignore Magnus's wish, not when he asked him as if it might be the last thing he'd ever wish for. It was the last thing Alec wanted to do, but he owed Magnus that. He owed him so much more than that, but if it was the least he could do, then he would.

"Okay," he said slowly, crouching down in front of the mirror again, hoping that Magnus would feel the proximity. "Okay. I'm not going anywhere."


	12. #348 Desperate times, desperate measures

The days that followed what Alec privily called "The Incident", for the lack of a better or less painful term, quickly turned into what he would later dub his personal hell. Which was a curious thing to say, admittedly, because they were nothing like what he had always imagined his own, specific hell to be like.

In his mind, he had always been convinced that the worst thing that could ever happen to him would be to live in a world where something had happened to his siblings, where he was completely alone, mourning their loss. He had never been able to imagine the horrors of a world without his family, and he had never thought he would ever really care about anyone outside of their little private circle.

He never had, before. For eighteen years, it had always been him and Jace and Izzy (and maybe Max, too, although he was a little too young to be included in their tightly bound triad, no matter how much they all loved him) against the rest of the world. Yes, Jace and Isabelle had always been quite outgoing, making other friends in school, but all of them had always known that these friends would never be as close to them nor as important as their siblings. Family always came first, and no matter how much they annoyed each other, when it came down to it, they would always stick together, be there for each other, and anyone or anything else would be utterly insignificant. To be completely honest, Alec often wondered how much their so-called friends had even mattered to Jace and Iz; he knew that they had been somewhat irked and sad leaving them behind, but now that they were in New York, they didn't seem to miss them all that much. Maybe because for them making new friends had always been easy. Maybe because in the end, they always had each other to fall back on.

Alec had, for his part, never even really made an effort to find friends. His siblings were all he'd ever needed. He was friendly enough in school, but he just never could have been bothered to cotton up to other boys and girls his age. From what he could tell, there were several reasons for this: a) him being a sort of recluse, b) him being generally awkward in social situation, c) people thinking he was a nerd, and d) him spending way too much energy looking after his siblings as to have anything left to give to others.

And now there was Magnus. Magnus who, from the very first meeting to this very day, put Alec on the edge and had strained his nerves in ways that not even constantly annoying siblings had managed. While he had known that they would have to work together in order to achieve something, he it had never really occurred to him that he might actually begin to care about the warlock in a way that went beyond the simple matters that he would benefit from. At first, he had wanted to help Magnus because he would help himself, and somewhere along the way he had grown fond of this irritating specimen like he had never had before.

Seeing his first and only friend – however reluctant this friendship might have been – suffer because of his actions was undoubtedly the worst thing that he had ever experienced.

Most of the time, Alec wished he could just close his eyes and it would all go away, that he'd wake up as soon as he blinked them open again and it would have all been nothing but a bad dream. But it _was_ real, every single part, every second of it, and Magnus was probably dying, and there was nothing he could do except for sitting by the mirror and keeping the warlock company, as little good as that did him. There were moments – quite a lot of them, actually – when he just wanted to run away to not have to see this, because he wasn't sure whether he could bear it one more moment, but in the end, he always stayed. He owed Magnus that much (and much, much more, things that he would never be able to give him now).

He was sure that both Jace and Isabelle has noticed that he spent even more time in his room than usual (in fact, he never really left it except for the times when he had to eat something), but luckily they hadn't really commented on it, mostly because they didn't spend a whole lot of time at home these days; had the situation been different, Alec probably would have followed both their developing relationship with Clary and Simon respectively with some interest, simply because neither of his siblings used to date anyone seriously, but as it was, he didn't give it much thought. He didn't give anything much thought aside from what he could possibly do to save Magnus, and hating himself for the events he had set in motion.

If he had had trouble getting a good night's sleep and some actual rest before, he had now turned into a downright insomniac. The sleep-deprivation didn't make anything easier and certainly didn't help his brain in coming up with a brilliant solution or something, but no matter how decidedly Magnus insisted he get some sleep, Alec couldn't bring himself to get more than two or three hours of sleep per night. By the third day after the bookend disaster, Alec was bone-tired, both in his body and his mind, but his worry for Magnus prevented him from falling asleep. For all he knew, he might walk out of the room for an hour and when he came back Magnus would be dead.

"You worry too much," Magnus told him nearly hourly. "Stop fidgeting. I can't even _see_ you while lying here, but you're making me nervous."

Alec didn't like how Magnus seemed to have accepted his fate by now, and always had to fight the urge to tell him that he had a veritable and thoroughly justified reason to worry, but in the end, he just tried to get a grip on himself – at least a little. Instead, he held onto the last straw of hope they had, which was Tessa succeeding in finding a way to mend the mirror and heal Magnus in the wake. For that, they had to keep waiting, which he was horrible at.

The only thing that gave him a little comfort was that while Magnus was in constant pain and spent most of the time lying down because sitting up was too painful for him, his condition didn't seem to get worse. Or at least that was what Magnus told him. Apparently, the dark lines had stopped spreading any further, just like the cracks in the glass hadn't spread, and so had the bleeding. Alec was now extra careful not to come too close to the mirror or do anything that would cause the glass to be damaged any further, but he suspected that saving Magnus from future harm would not help keeping him alive. Whatever had happened to him when the mirror had broken, the injuries caused were not healing in the slightest, and he didn't think Magnus could live forever with those wounds. The fact that his condition seemed to be relatively stable gave him hope that maybe there would be time for them to find a cure, although the chance of this was small.

One of them had to cling to the last straw of hope, he guessed, because he was _not_ letting Magnus die alone in there. He wasn't.

"You do realise you keep thinking aloud, don't you?" Magnus's teasing voice interrupted his musings.

Alec felt the heat of a faint blush creeping up his neck, and for a second he was glad that Magnus couldn't see him. Then he was reminded of the reason he couldn't, and he sobered up immediately. "Hmpf," he grunted, non-committally.

Magnus let out a quiet laugh. "You're blushing again, aren't you?"

"No," Alec lied through his teeth.

"Yeah, right. You totally are. What a shame I can't see you right now."

Alec shook his head. "I never thought I'd ever miss seeing your annoying visage."

There was a pause. There had been a lot of these silences in their conversations these past days. Then Magnus sighed. "Alec," he said pointedly, his voice still rough from the pain," don't start this conversation again."

"I'm not."

"Good. We don't need to talk about it."

Alec swallowed. "Maybe we do," he said.

"No. You need to talk about it. That's a difference." Magnus sounded tired. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I know."

"Then don't start, please."

Alec sighed, and laid back down onto the ground, staring at the ceiling, knowing that Magnus was doing the exact same thing at this very moment; well, except for the fact that Magnus was staring at a different ceiling and trying to concentrate on everything but the pain burning through his body.

"I'll miss you," he said quietly after several minutes of staring into nothingness. He hadn't really meant for these words to come out of his mouth – hell, until a few days ago he hadn't even wanted to believe these words could be true – but then again, this might be his only chance to ever say them.

There was another long silence; Alec couldn't even hear Magnus's breathing anymore, as if the warlock was holding his breath. "Yeah," he said eventually, and for the first time since The Incident Alec could have sworn he heard his voice crack with something like sadness. "I'll miss you, too." Then the warlock chuckled under his breath, "Oh my, look at us, almost exchanging heartfelt confessions. It really would have been so much easier if you would have just gotten over yourself and kissed me."

Alec swallowed down the dry lump in his throat. "Magnus," he began, but was interrupted.

"Just kidding."

The thing with the "just kiddings" was, Alec thought, that there was always a grain of truth in it, a spark of the reflection of the person's actual desires. "It wouldn't have worked," he murmured. "You know that."

"No, I don't know that."

Alec sighed. "You heard Tessa. Only true love can break the spell, blah blah. She wasn't talking about just kissing anyone and you'd get out." He bit his lip and twisted and untwisted his fingers nervously, like he always did when he felt uncomfortable. And he did; Magnus was good at that, making him feel uncomfortable. He was also very good at making him feel comfortable, but that was not the point right now. "I don't love you, Magnus."

He could hear Magnus draw in a sharp breath, and then letting it out slowly. "I know."

Its shouldn't be so painful to hear and say this, Alec thought.

All of a sudden, Magnus gasped in pain, and Alec scrambled forwards. "Magnus?" he asked, panicked. "What is it?"

"Nothing," the warlock rasped. "I'm fine. Just...moved and that hurt like a bitch."

There was something off about his voice, Alec could tell. He was about to call him out on it when he noticed that the pattern of the cracks had changed. He could have sworn that there hadn't been that many small cracks before. The realisation filled him with cold dread. "Magnus," he whispered, his throat dry. "They are spreading again, aren't they?"

Magnus groaned almost inaudibly. "Yes."

"They are spreading," Alec repeated. "Why are they spreading? I didn't do anything!"

"Doesn't matter. We knew it wouldn't last forever. It's not that bad. I can manage. I'm just cold."

"I never thought I'd tell you this, but you're a horrible liar," Alec said dryly.

Suddenly, an idea popped up in his head. He didn't know where it came from, hell, he certainly didn't know whether it would work at all, but he distinctly remembered Tessa doing the same thing when first inspecting the damage, and if he remembered correctly, Magnus hadn't minded; in fact, he had relaxed – until her failed attempt at fixing the glass, that was. Then again, that had been Tessa, not him. Alec hesitated, biting his lip. He had never really been the kind of person to trust his instincts – he preferred to rationalise things and ponder them thoroughly before making a decision, but this was not a normal situation. There was nothing to rationalise.

So, Alec thought ' _to hell with this'_ and leant forwards. "Magnus?" he asked tentatively. "I'm gonna try something, okay?" He cleared his throat. "Please don't freak out."

Slowly, he reached out and laid his hand on the hole in the mirror where the bookend had hit the glass, the centre of the damage.

Magnus drew in a sharp breath.

Alec flinched, considering whether or not he should pull his hands away again. "Does that hurt?"

"Nah," the warlock murmured. "It doesn't. Just...don't poke me, alright?"

"Um," Alec said, feeling stupid.

Thankfully, Magnus apparently sensed his uncertainty and discomfort. "It actually kind of helps," he said, sounding a little surprised himself, and that was why Alec believed him.

"Does it?"

"Yeah." And apparently, that was all he had to say about this topic, because he went on as if this little exchange had never happened, as if Alec didn't currently hold his hand over the mirror and consequently his wound. The only indicator was that his voice was a little more strained than before, and maybe that was why he was desperate to return to the topic they had been discussing previously.

"I know," Magnus repeated. "I know you're in love with Jace. You don't have to feel sorry about that. Or about not being able to help me." He coughed and then hastily added. "Please don't throw anything at me for saying that again."

"I won't," Alec promised, grimacing. "You're wrong, though."

"Alec, we've been over this. Stop torturing yourself about what happened. It's not-"

"That's not what I meant," Alec said softly. "I'm not in love with Jace."

Magnus sighed. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Alexander. You don't have to deny it."

"I'm not denying it. I'm not in love with Jace."

And, for the first time in years, Alec thought, it was actually true. He was not in denial. He looked back at years and years of wanting nothing more than to spend time with Jace, to be acknowledged by him, to make him happy, to have his brother look at him the way he usually looked at the girls he went out with, and all the anger and pain and longing that had accumulate over all that time, and it was nothing more but a faint memory. A part of him wondered when he had actually managed to rid himself of these feelings. God knew he had fought them long enough, and he had had dimmed them down to a minimum for a while now, but they had still been lingering there behind a very thin and easily breakable wall. Only a few weeks ago, the thought of Jace and Clary had bothered him immensely. Now, there was no spark of jealousy whenever he saw them together or Jace mentioned her name (which was often.) He actually managed to feel happy for them. Jace seemed to have all he wanted, and that, strangely enough, was good enough for him. When he looked at Jace now, he only saw his brother, and a weak afterglow of what had been his unrequited crush. Nothing more.

Alec supposed he would have been relieved if he hadn't been so tired.

"Not anymore," he added quietly, because somehow he felt like he had to explain himself to Magnus. "I mean, I used to. I've had a crush on him, like, _forever_. Sometimes I think it was because there was no one else around. He's kind of been the only boy my age I've ever had close contact with, and, well...you know Jace. It's hard to notice anyone else when he's around. He's like a supernova." He inhaled deeply. "Sometimes I think spent so much time thinking I was in love with him that I didn't really stop to look at it and figure it if I really was. I was just...so used to it. Like a habit, or something. I fought it so hard, but I was convinced nothing would ever really change." Alec shook his head. "Maybe I didn't want them to."

He could almost hear Magnus frown. "Why wouldn't you want them to?"

"Because I'm a coward," he said. "You were right, with everything you said. I was in love with him. I am gay. He, on the other hand, would have never reciprocated my feelings. So although I was able to confess my feelings to myself, it was also something I knew I had to keep secret. I never had to deal with my sexuality in that way, I never really had to face it, because I knew that a relationship with Jace would never happen. I never had to even think about coming out to my family, I never had to think about starting a relationship with anyone else, never actually had to worry about getting hurt. It was easier, that way, I suppose."

"Well, that last part is debatable," Magnus huffed.

Alec snorted softly, but chose not to reply. It was easy to imagine that for someone like Magnus, it would be harder _not_ being with anyone (you know, sex deprivation and all that, and urgh, Alec was not thinking about Magnus and sex at the same time), whereas the idea of getting involved with someone was pretty much horrifying for Alec. Not that he didn't want to, generally. He just didn't know if he could.

Somehow, this train of thought brought him back to a question that had nagged him for a while now. "Do you think that maybe, if things had been different, if we had met under different circumstances, that we could have been friends?"

Magnus hesitated for a moment. "We _are_ friends, Alexander," he replied slowly. "However fucked up that is, but we are."

Alec had to agree with him on that, but that was not what he had meant. "That doesn't answer my question." He swallowed. "I think I might have. Liked you, that is. You probably wouldn't have noticed me, and you wouldn't have been the kind of person I would have had the courage to talk to, and I probably would have had to kick your vain ass six ways to Sunday, but I think I might have liked you anyway."

Magnus sighed. "You," he noted dryly, "are the most frustrating person I have ever met, and believe me, I have met a lot of people. Bu still...I can't help but think that, no matter what, regardless of how we would've met, or where, or when...I always would have liked you. And I always would have noticed you. Don't think for a moment that I wouldn't have."

Alec blushed, and was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that his hand was technically still on Magnus's wound, and that, at some point, his fingers had begun to brush over the cracks in what was supposed to be a soothing touch. He quickly pulled his hand away – and almost doubled over.

"Magnus," he asked, trembling, "how are you feeling?"

The warlock's confusion was almost palpable. "Pardon?"

"The pain," Alec elaborated. "Is it getting better or worse, or is there no change?"

Magnus took a moment to contemplate that. "I think it hurts a little less. It's hard to say, because it still hurts like hell, but it was worse before. Why?"

"Because either I'm losing my mind or the cracks that showed up a couple of minutes ago are retreating again." And really, they were. Alec could watch them shrink slowly, right before his eyes.

"O...kay," Magnus said slowly. "This is getting creepier by the second."

"I don't understand it," Alec said, but he thought that maybe he did. He wasn't sure whether he liked the theory the evidence suggested, but there was hardly any arguing against it. Recalling the day, it seemed to be fairly obvious. The cracks had started to spread when Alec had told Magnus he didn't love him. Now that they had admitted they liked each other, it seemed that he was healing a little bit.

This was either a very cruel joke, or a way out.

Neither possibility was particularly comforting.

He really wasn't sure whether he liked where this was going, yet it occurred to him that maybe this was his chance to make things right, to fix his mistake. Maybe he should put his issues on hold for a while. And he was forced to admit that Magnus had been right; it couldn't get any worse. It was worth a shot, and he should just man up and stop whining, because this might not be what he expected his life to be like, what he had wanted it to be like, but there were more pressing matters at hand. If he could save Magnus, then this was a little price to pay.

Alec cleared his throat and shifted nervously. "Magnus," he said hesitantly, "can you stand?"

Magnus huffed. "I could try, but I don't see why I should."

"Try. Please."

"Yeah, no, thanks. Unless you tell me why. I don't think you need to inspect my wounds again, even if that gives you the perfect opportunity to ogle at me."

Alec took a deep breath and reminded himself that he actually liked Magnus, despite being pretty much a pain in the ass, and that the fact that his humour was returning was most likely a good sign. "Because I'm going to do what I should have done to begin with when you first asked me to," he replied almost brusquely. "I am going to kiss you."


	13. #81. Across the worlds

For a long time, there was no reaction at all from Magnus. So long, in fact, that Alec began to worry that he might have triggered a heart attack. If warlocks could have heart attacks, that was.

Alec cleared his throat. "Magnus?" he asked tentatively.

He heard the warlock shift, and his shoulders relaxed immediately. "Where is this coming from all of a sudden?" Magnus's voice was wary.

Alec shrugged, until it occurred to him that Magnus couldn't even see him. "No idea. Seems like the right thing to do."

"Alexander," Magnus said sharply. "We are in this mess because, a couple of days ago, you couldn't imagine kissing me. And now you want to do it? Just like that?"

"I think I was wrong," Alec admitted quietly. "I think maybe it will help."

Magnus groaned in exasperation. "Could you just make up your fucking mind?"

"I have."

"No, I don't think so. Now you're just having a little pity fest over there. I told you, you don't have to keep blaming yourself or trying to find a way out. It's okay."

"I'm not doing this as some sort of atonement," Alec snapped. "It's the logical thing to do. The cracks retreated when we admitted we cared about each other. Maybe kissing you _will_ help to at least fix you up."

"Yeah, and they spread when you told me you didn't love me, which is true. If you kiss me and don't mean it, won't it make things worse?" Magnus countered.

Alec hadn't thought about that.

"Then again," Magnus sighed, "it's not like we can do any more damage, I suppose." Then he snickered. "Who knows, maybe you can actually _kiss it better_. This would be weird, even for my standards."

Alec shook his head violently. "I am _not_ sticking my tongue anywhere near your bellybutton, if that's what you're fantasizing about."

There was second of stunned silence, because yeah, where the hell had _that_ come from, and then Magnus began to laugh, except that the soft sounds coming out of his mouth were interrupted by pained groans while the warlock desperately tried to stop and calm down his breathing in order to not shake his body up too much. "Whose mind is in the gutter now?" he gasped, obviously torn between amusement and agony.

Not for the first time, Alec was glad that Magnus couldn't see him at this very moment. Of course, the warlock was probably well aware of the fact that his face would be flaming red by now – which it was, naturally – but it did give him a little comfort. He would have liked to tell Magnus to shut up, but he didn't quite trust his voice to not give him away completely, so he figured he'd just have to wait.

Magnus calmed down quickly enough, anyway, possibly because it hurt too much to keep up the laughing, or possibly because he hadn't really been in a laughing mood these past days (understandably, as anyone would have to concede). "Don't worry," he murmured, as if he'd read Alec's mind. "I'm not going to tease you about this."

"Right."

"I don't have a bellybutton anyway," Magnus said smoothly, like this was a perfectly normal conversation, one he'd have every day, and this was a perfectly normal thing to say. Then again, Alec thought, once he'd managed to get a hold of his thoughts again – which, apparently, had screeched to a halt roughly 0.03 seconds after the words had left Magnus's mouth and had refused to start off again for a considerable amount of time – this might have actually counted as one of the saner conversations they'd had. And also, the revelation probably shouldn't have caught him by surprise. The boy had cat's eyes, for God's sake; possessing no belly button was normal compared to that.

And he was _not_ pondering this right now.

Alec cleared his throat, again. "You might want to get up before I panic and change my mind," he mumbled.

He could hear Magnus shift and scramble on the other side, and guessed he was sitting up. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Alec groaned. "If you keep asking, I might become unsure. Or I might punch you. Again. Sort of. So I'd say the best thing would be for you to stand the fuck up and get your ass over here."

"Yes, Sir," Magnus mocked half-heartedly, and Alec could tell that the movements he had made so far, even if they were only minor once, had already exhausted him.

"Please tell me you can get up."

Magnus huffed. "I'm working on it."

He didn't sound too annoyed, just sort of frustrated. Alec didn't dwell on that. He was too busy trying to suppress the nervousness that was slowly but surely creeping up on him.

If he was honest with himself, this plan wasn't entirely thought through. He really had no idea whether it would work or whether the whole thing would just backfire in their faces, the way Magnus's magic had turned on him when he had tried to get himself out. And then there was the somewhat disturbing fact (for him, at least) that he didn't have any idea what he was doing. He had never kissed anyone before, and now he was going to go and try to kiss someone who was not even actually in the room, so to speak, firmly locked behind a panel of glass that he was not sure he could penetrate at all.

Yeah.

Awkward much?

And not exactly what he had imagined his first kiss would be like. But, oh well, he mused while waiting for Magnus to pull himself up until he reached something at least akin to a vertical position, if it didn't work there wouldn't be much to screw up. He'd feel like a complete idiot, even more so than he already did, but that should be it. If it did work, then he hoped Magnus's gratefulness would make him overlook Alec's ineptness. He didn't want to think about the third possibility at all, so he pushed all of his worries into the farthest corner of his mind.

He'd gotten quite good at that lately.

It wasn't that easy anymore, though, when he finally came face to face with Magnus again. "Jesus," he breathed softly, and Magnus's face twisted into something that was supposed to be a smile but ended up more like a pained grimace.

"That bad, huh?"

"Yes." Alec swallowed.

It was, really. Alec had thought the warlock had looked bad when he had first been injured, face contorted in pain and gasping for breath. He had been pale then, too. Now, a couple of days later, he looked like he was going to collapse any second, and Alec wondered how he managed to stand at all. His face was – and there was really no other word for it – ashen, the kind of sickly grey you often found when entering hospitals or nursing homes. It was never a good sign.

Alec felt his stomach drop into a deep, deep hole in the ground.

"Magnus, you said you were feeling better," Alec accused him, but he didn't achieve sounding angry in the slightest. All he could manage was horror and fear.

"In that case I don't even want to imagine what I looked like before," Magnus snorted. "Because I am. Feeling better, that is. I might actually hold up a little longer now. Possibly even until Tessa finds something so you don't have to-"

Alec cut him off, then, in the only effective way he could think of that did not involve throwing things at him. It was a very stupid and cliché thing to do, he thought later, and probably would have worked for a scene right out of these ridiculous romance novels Clary was, according to Jace, addicted to, but it did take Magnus by surprise, and would technically, had he been actually standing in front of him, have cut off his air supply and impeded him to say another word, so he guessed he couldn't really argue against the method's efficiency.

For a moment, Alec just felt the coldness of the glass against his lips. In this brief second, a strange disappointment flooded him, and anger at himself for his stupidity, thinking that this might help.

And then something shifted.

At first, he thought the surface had merely warmed under his skin and breath. Then, after a blink, he realised that there was something else. In fact, the material flared almost hot and Alec heard Magnus draw in a deep breath with a hiss. He wanted to jerk back; every instinct told him to step away as quickly as possible, to put a distance between him and a magically cursed and potentially dangerous object, but there was something else that made him stay put: For a beat, he was almost a hundred percent sure that he had felt the barrier between them slipping away. Just for a second, he thought, he had felt Magnus's lips on his own, soft and pliant and the exact opposite of the hard and unyielding glass.

So he remained still, unmoving, and tried to shut down his brain and not think about how utterly ridiculous this was. So what? He wasn't doing this for him, he was doing this for Magnus, so he figured his pride and shame could shut the fuck up for a minute.

The heat flared up once more, almost violently, and then, all of a sudden, it retreated. He could still feel it radiating from one single spot, about the height were he suspected Magnus's wound would be, the heat penetrating even his closing and making his skin prickle.

For some reason, he wasn't afraid of being burnt.

And then there were a hundred different and more important things to think about, because he distinctly felt something _move_ , and this time he was absolutely sure he was not imagining things. One moment, his lips were definitely pressed against the glass and the next moment they suddenly weren't. It was as if the surface had mellowed and then slowly started to disperse underneath him, like it was nothing more than a wall of fog that could easily be crossed. Magnus's lips were pressed against his, and then the warlock shifted slightly and leaned forwards, into the kiss and it wasn't just his lips that Alec could feel anymore. A strand of the warlock's long, black hair tickled the skin of Alec's cheek, his breath was fanning over his lips and holy shit, he could _taste_ Magnus.

Out of reflex, he brought his hand up to Magnus's neck to tug him forwards, closer to him, making Magnus stumble towards him. He almost would have lost his balance and fallen, but Alec simply took a step back with him and Magnus's arms found their way around his waist, stabilising them both.

In a very, very far corner of his mind, it occurred to Alec that he could probably let go now, break the kiss and step away, and that would be it. But Magnus was warm and solid and _real_ against him and Alec found himself not wanting to let go at all. Maybe it was the fear of him slipping through his fingers again, maybe it was the euphoria of a successful plan lighting up inside him, or maybe it was a mix of both or something else entirely, but the result was all the same. He didn't let go, and Magnus didn't seem to mind in the slightest. Quite the contrary; he used the hold he had on Alec to bring their bodies closer together and opened his mouth further to run his tongue over Alec's lower lip, and, when Alec complied, slowly licked his way into his mouth.

As far as first kisses went, Alec thought much later, his was probably better than average. Granted, it had started out as what probably was the worst kiss in world's history, but considering what it turned into, it had been quite worth it, and the second half of it definitely made up for the awkwardness at the beginning. This didn't fully explain why he couldn't seem to let go of Magnus – or even _want_ to let go of him, for that matter – but he _liked_ kissing Magnus, because, well, the warlock definitely knew what he was doing, and he seemed to be quite enthusiastic (which was understandable, taking into account that he hadn't seen any action in the fifteen years he had been locked away, and that was probably longer than he had ever gone without getting any).

He could have continued kissing Magnus for much longer, but at some point, when they had to break for air, the fact that fifteen years of being cursed and recently having been injured made itself known in a very unceremonious way. Magnus's knees wobbled and he nearly toppled over, causing Alec, who was not prepared for having a not-quite-as-lightweight-as-he-looked warlock collapsing in his arms, to stumble backwards until his knees hit the edge of his bed and he fell backwards, dragging Magnus down next to him.

There was a second of silence, and then Magnus began to giggle next to him, a soft sound that soon turned into full-on laughter, and Alec couldn't fight the grin that spread all over his face.

"Whoa," Magnus said once he had calmed down. "Okay. So that was..." He cut himself of. "Sorry for that, by the way," he said instead, lazily waving a hand between them. Alec assumed he was referring to the falling over, not everything else. He didn't want Magnus to apologise for anything else that had happened, like he regretted it.

"'S okay," he murmured, still a little out of breath. "I guess." And then he promptly cracked again when Magnus's stomach grumbled loudly.

However, he couldn't help the pang of something almost akin to sadness coming over him. Yes, it was funny, because it destroyed every little piece of romance that might have lurked around, and that was the crux of all things. This moment they had shared, whatever it had been, was over, now irrecoverably lost.

"My apologies," Magnus said weakly.

"I can fix you something to eat," Alec offered.

"That would be nice, but I don't think I can get up anytime soon."

Alec shifted and turned his head so that he could have a closer look at him. For a moment, he was hit bit the astonishment that Magnus was actually, really lying next to him, staring at the ceiling with a weak but happy smile and so close that Alec wouldn't even really have to extend his hand in order to touch him. One of Magnus's hand was still clutched at his left side, and Alec assumed that his wound still hurt, but all in all, he looked much better than he had only five minutes ago; his skin had taken on a far more natural colour, although he was still a lot paler than he had used to be, and he still looked incredibly tired, but not s much that Alec feared he would pass out.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fucking awesome."

Alec felt his lips twitch. "Nice to know, but not what I meant."

"You mean aside from the indispensable euphoria and the contrastive sense of starvation and the dizziness that comes with it?" Magnus asked, and, when Alec nodded, contemplated his question seriously. "My side's still sore," he informed him, "but it doesn't really hurt anymore." He rucked up his shirt a little to inspect his torso. The black pattern drawn across his skin had turned into faint silver lines, almost invisible, like age-old scars. "I'm free. All in all, I think I'll be good."

_I'm free._

The words hit Alec, and for a moment, the weight of tem knocked the breath right out of him again.

It occurred to him that he had never actually considered them succeeding a possibility. This had always been their goal, but he had never thought any further. He'd never thought about the troubles that might await them once Magnus was out and could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

Where would they go from here?

Alec was almost too scared to think about it, but he had to ask. He swallowed and cleared his throat, which suddenly seemed to be a lot drier than it had been before. "So," he began, going for casual and failing completely, "what do you plan to do next?"

Magnus shrugged. "Eating. Celebrating my freedom. Recovering. Go and crash on Tessa's couch, once I feel up to walking, if she still has one. I'm not thinking about making big steps right now."

"Why would you go to Tessa's?" Alec crunched his nose. "I mean...this house is yours."

Magnus snorted. "Right, because I can just waltz in after being AWOL for a decade and a half and claim it back. You live here now. Besides," he added, "I'm not so sure whether I want to set foot into it ever again. Spending fifteen year on lock-down does quite a bit to ruin the appeal of a place. And I think you might have some trouble explaining to yours parents who that stranger suddenly inhabiting their domicile is."

"You could hide in your special closet," Alec joked weakly, drawing a startled laugh from Magnus's lips.

"Um, thanks, but I think I'd prefer some not-closed space for once."

Which was perfectly comprehensible, but it still made Alec feel like shit.

So this was it, then. Alec had to admit, he should have anticipated it. In the end, Magnus had always only seen him as a way out.

This was why he never made the effort to befriend anyone. Because they always ended up disappointing you. Hurting you. Leaving you.

He drew in a deep breath. "I'm not gonna see you again, am I?"

Magnus blinked. And then he blinked again. "...You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I understand, I guess. I wou-hmpf."

Magnus had clamped his hand over his mouth, shutting him up. "For all your intelligence, Alexander," he said, almost angrily, "sometimes you are really horribly thick."

Alec made a protesting noise, but it only came out muffled, so he reduced his efforts to make his irritation known to fixing Magnus with an icy glare.

"I want you to listen closely, and answer very honestly, because I'm only going to ask once. Understood?" Alec nodded, and Magnus drew back his hand. "Do you want me to stay?"

Alec swallowed. That was the million dollar question, wasn't it? And it was surprisingly easy to answer, as long as he didn't have to explain the reasons why.

He didn't trust his voice, so he simply nodded.

Magnus relaxed visibly and grinned. "Good," he said, rolling onto his back again, and a wave of relief flooded over Alec. "By the way, I think you should know by now that I'm not that easy to get rid of."

Alec grunted. "I can always resort to throwing bookends."

"Sorry, dear, but that won't work that well once I can use all my super awesome powers again," Magnus laughed. "I might just haunt your ass the rest of your life."

As frightening as that was, Alec was strangely okay with that outlook. He couldn't foresee what the future would hold for them, but right now, he didn't care.

"Okay," he said. "Okay."


End file.
